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Many years ago, I was chatting with one of my cousins when she casually mentioned that I was one of her role models, and that I had been for a long time. I was flattered and floored in equal measure because I had no idea that this cousin was paying attention to me at all.
Fast forward to earlier this year and I'm sitting at my computer about to be interviewed by a podcaster who has millions of followers, a massive profile, and is smart and gorgeous to boot. As I'm mentally rehearsing what I'm going to say and reminding myself to play it cool, she bursts onto screen and immediately launches into a monologue about how she loves my work and has been following me for months, and how my book is the first business/smart-thinking book written by a woman that she can relate to, and how she loves my voice, and on and on and on, leaving me open-jawed, and yes, flattered and floored in equal measure. And the reason I'm sharing this with you is because in both scenarios I had no idea that either of these amazing humans knew anything about me at all. Like many of us, I had assumed that I had all the information, that I knew everyone who was "watching" me, that I knew everyone who admired me, and that I knew (or could measure) the impact I was having. But that's never the case. For any of us. We can never know the impact we have on others because they won't always tell us. We can never know what our legacy will be because we can't keep count of all the ripples we create each day by being who we are. We can never know how many people are watching us because we don't always notice. Whether we know it or not, someone is always watching, someone is always paying attention, and someone is always admiring. Whether we know it or not. So stop waiting for feedback that may never come. Stop waiting for your cousin - real or metaphorical - to tell you, or a famous podcaster - real or metaphorical - to gush about you. Just keep doing your thing, shining the way you shine, so that you can be the person your admirers are looking for whenever they finally find you.
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A lot of the time when I am advising leaders and founders I find myself working with them to manage their expectations. Expectations about their companies, their employees, the market, themselves...
Now too often when people talk about "managing expectations" they conflate that with lowering expectations. But that is not how we do. As those of you who have been with me for a few years now will know, I am the last person you should come to if you want a reason to lower anything (especially your expectations of yourself). BUT, there is a fine art to keeping our expectations in touch with reality (again, not lowering them) by making sure we accept that we can't control everything, especially outcomes. And my version of managing expectations is all about controlling the controllable and letting the rest go. Here's what I mean. Whenever we set ourselves goals or put metrics in place for performance or "success" or achievement, we try to control too much. We put in arbitrary deadlines, nail down the exact process by which it must unfold, and try to plan every last detail. But the reality of life is that no one or nothing has any stake in making things happen the way we envision. Markets get shocked. Colleagues become difficult. Stakeholders disagree. And things take their own time (not the time we have allocated). Sure, we can try to gee things along at a faster pace, but there's only so much we can force. Sure, we can try to make something happen in 12 months, say, instead of 18 months, but there's only so much we can make happen. Reality, other people, external forces all get their say too. And that's why we have to learn to be laser focused on the what (the goal, the ambition, the dream, etc), but be far more open-minded and semi-agnostic about the how and the when. I'll give you a concrete example from my own life. When I was twenty, I had a conversation with my then-boyfriend about how I felt there was something "big" in store for me. That I felt I was called to do something that would have a powerful impact for good in the world. But that was as far as my "what" went. I didn't know the exact thing that would feel big and impactful. And I didn't try to force it. I explored, experimented, all that experiential stuff, for sure, but I didn't say "I must become the first woman President of the United States or else I'll be a failure" or "I have to head a Fortune 500 company or my career will be worthless". I decided the destination (do something that felt big to me, and that would have a positive impact) and then let the how and the when unfold. I worked as a math and English teacher, got a few Master's degrees, worked at the CIA, started two businesses of my own, started advising others, became an international speaker, became an author, and so many other things along the way. And now, only now, after decades of exploration and NOT trying to force-fit anything, I am realizing that aspiration to do something that feels big and important to me. I am helping others. I am speaking to big audiences. I am reaching thousands with my writing. I could never have predicted that this - my advisory work, my speaking, and my writing - would be the "how", and could never have predicted the time it would take me to get here. I decided what I cared about and then let my life and experiences open my eyes to new possibilities about how I could do what I felt called to do. This isn't to say meander and aimlessly float through life. I am saying the total opposite: have a very clear idea of where you are going BUT don't obsess over or try to force how it happens or when. You may miss out on a lot of magic if you close yourself off to the many ways in which your goals or ambitions can be realized. So decide the what, be clear and dead-set on it. But be open to the how, and the when. The ride will be truer and deeper if you don't always try to steer it or speed it up. Ahhhhhh... I love this slow period between Christmas and new year. It's quiet, it's relaxed, and it seems perfectly designed for lazy days at home after all the frantic activity of the year that's passed.
Whenever I go into seasonal hibernation-mode, I binge-watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine (or whatever TV series I am usually the last to awaken to!) and binge-read for fun (I'm currently going through a delightfully dark Finnish writer's books). Whatever your down time looks like, I hope it rejuvenates you and reminds you that it's okay to do things just for you from time to time, just because you can. And that sometimes, the world and our businesses can wait - or need to wait - while we recharge. I would love to be a part of your emotional and physical "top up" time, so I thought I'd share some of my most popular articles. These are the articles that you commented on, shared, liked, and talked about the most. For newer members of our community, I hope you enjoy these for the first time, and for all of you who have been here with me from the beginning, I hope you get a new insight, takeaway, or ah-ha moment the second time around (I know I do!)... >>Trolls, Haters, and Anonymous Negativity>> >>Run Your Own Race>> >>The Data-Driven Life>> >>The Millionaire Next Door>> >>The Life of the Mind>> >>Not Balance, but Harmony>> >>Sur-thrive-al Skills>> >>Fire Your Clients>> Happy reading, happy holidays, and happy (almost!) new year! When I was 12, I was desperate to be a supermodel. I remember reading in Seventeen Magazine that Nikki Taylor had been discovered while she was waiting at an airport, so for years after that, every time I flew, I would get breathless with desperation for some talent scout to pluck me from the traveling masses and plaster my face on billboards and magazines. (Thankfully - and no disrespect to supermodels - my older sister reminded me that I have a powerful brain and should do something more meaningful with my life. Phew!)
But that idea that I had to "be discovered" stuck with me. I wasted a good few years of my life, even as an adult, waiting to be chosen, wishing for recognition, waiting for nominations, and wishing for accolades. And I wasted even more of my life feeling deflated when they never came. What an idiot. Because what I realized with time and experience, is that the world doesn't work that way. We are led to believe that if we are good at something or have something to offer or create something worth sharing, that others will magically find out about it and find out about us. "If you build it, they will come" and all that. But that's utter nonsense. A lot of the time, the people on things like Forbes' lists get on those lists because they apply to be on them. A lot of the time, the companies that win awards are the ones that put themselves forward for the awards. A lot of the time, the speakers who deliver key notes at conferences are the ones who pitch themselves as speakers. They're not discovered. They do the work and give themselves a chance, instead of relying on chance. If I had really wanted to be a supermodel all those decades ago, I should have gotten a headshot, gone to auditions, threw my hat in the ring and done the work - and kept doing it and kept auditioning - instead of being passive-depressive about it. Because as wonderful as we all may be and as much as we all may do, no one else is keeping track. No one is tallying all the amazing things we accomplish. No one is talking about our many wonderful ways of giving back. And they (almost) never will. For example, over the past few years, I have volunteered 800 (yes, 800) hours of my time to my alma mater through free mentoring, coaching, and workshops. Is anyone chasing after me with a medal for my service? Is anyone nominating me for some sort of recognition? No, and no. But, if there is ever an opportunity to nominate myself, will I do so? Yes. And, of course. Does that make me a self-promoting jackass? No. Because I did the work. I volunteered the hours. I didn't do it so I could get recognition, but if the opportunity to be recognized arises, then I'm going to recognize myself for how much I contributed and put myself forward. That's what we all need to do. If you did the work, apply for the award. If you meet the requirements, put yourself forward. If you lived the experience, pitch for the story. If you have the product, ask people to buy it. There is nothing holy about obscurity. There is nothing holy about anonymity. And there is nothing unholy about not staying obscure or anonymous. Put yourself forward. Put yourself out there. Put yourself in the race. It doesn't mean you will always get what you want. But trying sure as hell beats waiting for someone else to discover what is wonderful about you or your business when you already know it is there. During my last Power Hour session, I shared some tips about living your ideal day now, in whatever small way you can. (You can re-watch the session on Making Your Boldest Ambitions a Reality here). But since then, I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I wasn't thinking big enough. That doing small things was maybe too small. That maybe, just maybe, we could all live our Ideal Day for a full day, starting now.
What I mean is this: we all tell ourselves a story about what is or isn't possible. And sometimes that story goes something like this: your "ideal day" is pie in the sky and something you'll have to wait for if you ever get it at all, and oh, till then, you'll have to suffer lots and earn your ideal, but it won't come for years and years and years. But what if we told ourselves a different story? What if we sold ourselves a different story? Because sometimes, just sometimes, the only thing separating our "ideal" from our reality is the choices we make and a lack of imagination. So, I'd like to set us all a challenge to prove to ourselves how much of our Ideal Day is possible. Already. Now. Pronto. First, write down in detail what your ideal day looks like (get all your senses involved): where do you wake up, what do you eat, what can you smell, what are you doing with your time, who are you with, how are you using your brain, how are you flexing your body, and how are you energizing your spirit. Think of as much detail as you can... ...And then - this is the key part - reserve a day in April (or sooner if you can) when you will actually live your ideal day. All. Day. Long. Now before you protest about jobs and kids and other commitments, just go with it. Choose a Saturday or a Sunday if you have to. Get a babysitter. Take a day off work if you've got the leave. And then be creative and expansive about the Art of the Possible. Make adjustments if required (some things might not be possible because of lockdown but get creative! If you can't go to a museum or the theatre in person, can you do a virtual trip or watch Hamilton on Disney+?), make plans if you have to, buy the groceries if you need to, but live as fully as you possibly can in your ideal day. ALL. DAY. LONG. Here's what I'll be doing: waking up before the sun rises, eating a warm breakfast (American-style pancakes with lots of syrup), doing a virtual ballet class, reading fiction for a few uninterrupted hours, writing for a few uninterrupted hours, going for a walk in the sunshine to pick up coffee from my favorite local, running a workshop, and spending quality time with my family in the evening while we eat takeout (I hate cooking). Nothing else. No email, no admin, no firefighting, just one precious day where I will live my ideal. (And for ultimate accountability, I'll be living my ideal day on 31 March... You can test me on it if you like because I'll be doing our 4th Power Hour session that day.) If you need any convincing, here's why I think you should do this and why we all can do this: When we live our Ideal Day, we get to try it on, see how it feels, how it fits, and experience what this amorphous "ideal" is like. And then, if it feels good, we can find ways (because our brains are creative like that) to live that ideal more often. And internalizing how good it feels will motivate us to make the ideal a reality more often too. And we can also see where we need to make tweaks, what we might want to change, what elements to leave out/put in, and what life changes might need addressing now. And if it feels different to what we expected, that is good too. Because we now have information to tell us whether our "ideal" is really the promised land we told ourselves it would be, or if there is something missing. Just go with me on this one. It may sound strange, and you may resist it, but just try. For one day, one whole precious full day, live your Ideal Day. And experience what it's like to live a life of your own making because you made it happen. When I was starting my first business, I came across a quote that had a massive impact on me: "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." I remember at the time doing an immediate inventory, and I didn't like what I found.
I had left a highly-intellectual and analytic career with brilliant colleagues, finished two years of business school where I was surrounded by driven and focused friends, and was now working for myself, by myself. I was isolated and on my own for most of each day. And when I was around other people, the five I saw the most were my then-fiancee, my soon-to-be-mother-in-law, and some lovely but uninspiring friends who didn't work. I was the average of that?? One of the biggest downfalls of becoming an entrepreneur that not enough people talk about is this: when you are bootstrapping a business, working from home, and building your vision from scratch, you have to make an effort to find the communities that you took for granted when you were working for someone else. You have to look for people who will support, push, and challenge you. You have to seek out relationships that will help you and your business grow. But where are you supposed to find them? And how? For a long time, I had no idea. I was mildly depressed for large parts of those first few years and I felt deeply isolated. (It didn't help that I was living in the 'burbs at the time, where the only things within walking distance were a large supermarket and a movie theater... not exactly buzzy co-working spaces where I'd meet other entrepreneurs!) After almost two years (TWO YEARS!) of doing things on my own and being professionally lonely, I teamed up with two of my favorite and most successful friend-preneurs to do something as life-changing and morale-boosting as starting a WhatsApp group, and our little threesome was, and still is, exactly what I needed. But, dear Entreprenoras, as we all know, not all WhatsApp groups or business groups or entrepreneur groups are created equal. We have to choose wisely. We have to look for, or create, environments that will help us do and be more than we could do or be on our own. We have to go where the standards are high. It's that thing about averages: if we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with - and science and research has proven this to be true again and again - then wouldn't it be great to be a part of a group where we are surrounded by high-performers who are committed to excellence, learning, improving, and sharing (like this one!)? Wouldn't it be great if we sought out communities where we were the "dumbest" person in the room so we could push ourselves harder than we knew we could push? Wouldn't it be exhilarating to be surrounded by people who get what we are trying to do and will help us do it better, faster, and more successfully than we could have on our own? The communities, the people, the ideas that contribute to our average don't have to be physical. They can be made up of the authors we read, the podcasts we listen to, the thought leaders we follow, the online forums we join. But we have to choose carefully. We have to go where the standards are high. Where the expectations are massive. Where we will metaphorically rub elbows with people who don't make us feel desperate for a shower after we have metaphorically rubbed elbows with them! It's the law of averages, after all, and you don't want your "five" bringing your average down. One of the things I've realized recently is that for many founders, one of the hardest things we have to do is put ourselves "out there." This could be our posts on LinkedIn or social media, speaking at events, pitching ourselves to investors, asking for the sale from a client, or any of the other marketing or business development and reputation-building activities we engage in.
It can feel uncomfortable, awkward, palpitation-inducing, and even terrifying. What-if's start to flood our brains: What if they say no, What if they laugh, What if they reject me, What if they think the idea is stupid, What if they think I'm stupid, What if I make a fool of myself... and on and on and on. I get it. I have been there too. And as women, we have the added burden of society's pressures telling us we have to be perfect, we have to look a certain way, we have to behave a certain way, we have to be 100% sure of everything. It's a double-standard that plays in the back of our minds any time we strive, reach, consider, or try for something or move outside our comfort zones. We take society's impossible standards, mix them up with our own, and paralyze ourselves. But in these moments of should-I-stay-small-or-really-go-for-it, it's crucial that we remind ourselves that we chose to do what we are doing for a reason. We want to create something, contribute something, improve something, help someone, add value, see what we are made of, see what we can make. We are do-ers and creators and value-adders. And every time we keep ourselves to ourselves, every time we shrink from raising our hands or our voices, every time we talk ourselves out of a seat at The Table, or don't post that article or don't apply for that award, every time we stay in our box, we are being selfish and serving no one. Because the world needs what we have to offer, but no one will ever find us, hear us, be lifted by us, helped by us or our products, or inspired by us if we don't put ourselves out there. To quote the brilliant Abby Wambach, "Imperfect men have been empowered and permitted to run the world since the beginning of time. It's time for imperfect women to grant themselves permission to join them." So let's go out there and share our sparkling imperfect radiance with the world exactly as we are and as big and shiny as we can be. Let's go out there and be bold, be ourselves, and be visible. Amongst all of the broader social conversations happening recently around worth and wealth and access and fairness, what has galled me the most is that too many of us are still having to ask for permission to access the illusory "level playing field" and "equal protection" others enjoy implicitly.
For women, pay gaps, VC funding patterns, systemic biases, and a whole matrix of external structures keep us persistently under-represented in positions of power and keep us poorer than men. The statistics are depressing and universal, and all of the unpaid work we do robs us further of our potential wealth and influence. But we can, and have to, do something about this. From demanding what we are worth to paying ourselves properly, the work starts with each of us. We need to get better at getting actual cash, and we need to stop telling ourselves we can't afford to invest in ourselves or our businesses. There are a few simple things we can do right now to give ourselves more money and therefore more options and more of a say:
My dear Entreprenoras, the world already de-prioritizes us and minimizes our worth, but we shouldn't do that to ourselves. Let's have those difficult money conversations with co-founders or partners or suppliers, let's plan for our financial futures, let's learn what we need to learn, and let's start building our financial fortresses so that no one can ever, ever pull us down. [Get started with some of the books about money and wealth here.] Money isn't the answer to everything, but having more control over more of it gives us the freedom to do more of the good we want to do in the world and in our lives. So let's stop with the status quo and start paying ourselves and owning our worth. Cha. Ching. Last week I shared my personal experiences of and reflections on race, justice, and inclusion and the broader social conversation around these topics. And all of these discussions got me thinking about a fundamental reality: that power and influence default to wealthy, white, men, and everyone else has to ask for or fight for permission to access the same.
If you are poor, or a woman, or non-white - or any combination of the three - even after being "given" these rights, you still don't get to freely enjoy them. There is still a yawning gap between the legality and the reality. Between the equality we are told we have and the inequality we experience. We face this every day as women and as founders in glaring and subtle ways: there is a vicious gender pay gap, women-founded startups get a paltry 2% of VC funding even though data shows our businesses perform better, women entrepreneurs are seen as exceptions while male templates define what a "real" founder looks and acts like. And we are still too often asking men for permission. We are still too often trying to justify our seat at the Boardroom table (if we ever get there). We are still too often financially reliant on partners due to a range of factors (pay gaps, parental leave policies that penalize us, all of the unpaid work we do...). We are still too often kept small by media representations that under-report our successes or relegate them to "women's" sections (almost every business magazine has a "Women" section, but not a "Man" section... Why? Perhaps another example of men being the default...). But, my dear Entreprenoras, this isn't the way it has to be. We shouldn't need to ask for permission, we shouldn't need to play in the sidelines, and we shouldn't need to conform to any template other than our own. Each of us can and should demand more, expect more, and get more at home and in the wider world. The time for asking is over. One of the reasons I started this community was to make sure we all get what we deserve, achieve what we set out to achieve, and become financially abundant and independent in ways that allow us to force change where necessary or BE the change we can. Our success is about more than just us. Our success is about showing the world different templates of what is possible and what a role model looks like. So whatever your success looks like, whatever your dreams look like, whatever your goals look like, we are here to make sure you get there. Use our resources, get in touch, apply to join our Boardroom, get your voice heard by pitching your story for our podcast, or simply connect with each other at one of our events. Ladies, we are in this together. No more asking for permission. Just succeeding, demanding, and achieving. Together.  For our very first profile in our Meet the Entreprenoras series, I am so pleased to be featuring Hannah Feldman, founder of Kidadl. Read on, be inspired, and connect with Hannah! What does Kidadl do? Solving the problem of "what can we do with the kids today?", Kidadl helps families discover and book curated events and experiences, tailored to their interests, location and budget and to get out and make the memories that childhood is all about. What do you love most about your business? The incredible journey of seeing your product vision come to life and from seeing thousands of parents use and trust what you have put out into the world, and keep coming back for more! I wish I could bottle this feeling up as it makes every bit of the hard work worthwhile. What tip, insight, or piece of advice you would like to share with the community? Focus is everything. Set your goal, outline your critical path and stick to it. The danger is in the distraction - which in the world of social media and constant connectivity is often the hardest thing to avoid. Favorite quote: "Wherever you go, there you are" by John Kabat-Zinn. For me this quote serves as a constant reminder that whatever path you pursue in life you need to start from a position of self-acceptance and inner peace. From this foundation everything is possible, and you can't run away from yourself (however hard you may try!). How can other Entreprenoras get in touch with you? Connect with me on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hannah-feldman-kidadl/ Rupal's comment: If you have children and want to find great new ways to spend time with them -- this summer and beyond -- check out and sign up for Kidadl's newsletter... Who knew baby dance parties were a thing?! "Well, you know what they say? You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with..."
That was a really successful friend-preneur of mine during one of our regular chats when I was first starting my business. I immediately did an inventory, and I didn't like what I found. I had left a highly-intellectual and analytical career with brilliant colleagues, finished two years of business school where I was surrounded by driven and focused friends, and was now working for myself, by myself. I was isolated and on my own for most of each day. And when I was around other people, the five I saw the most were my fiancee, my mother-in-law, and some lovely but uninspiring friends who didn't work. I was the average of that?? My fiancee aside, it wasn't exactly a group that was going to march me towards success... One of the biggest downfalls of becoming an entrepreneur that not enough people talk about is this: when you are bootstrapping a business, working from home, and building your vision from scratch, you have to make an effort to find the communities that you took for granted when you were working for someone else. You have to look for people who will support, push, and challenge you. You have to seek out relationships that will help you and your business grow. But where are you supposed to find them? And how? For a long time, I had no idea. I was mildly depressed for large parts of those first few years and I felt deeply isolated. (It didn't help that I was living in the 'burbs at the time, where the only things within walking distance were a large supermarket and a movie theater... not exactly buzzy co-working spaces where I'd meet other entrepreneurs!) After almost two years (TWO YEARS!) of doing things on my own and being professionally lonely, I teamed up with two of my favorite and most successful friend-preneurs to do something as life-changing and morale-boosting as starting a WhatsApp group (it doesn't have to be complicated for it to work). And our little threesome was exactly what I needed -- and still is -- to keep me and my business growing and improving. The advice we share with each other has saved me hundreds of thousands of pounds, and the support we give each other has saved me almost as many hours of frustration, confusion, and feeling stuck. (We are a small but mighty group of can-do'ers!) But, my friends, not all WhatsApp groups or business groups or entrepreneur groups are created equal. We have to choose wisely. We have to look for, or create, environments that will help us do and be more than we could do or be on our own. We have to go where the standards are high. It's that thing about averages again... If we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with -- and science and research has proven this to be true again and again -- then wouldn't it be great to be a part of a group where we are surrounded by high-performers who are committed to excellence, learning, improving, and sharing? Wouldn't it be great if we sought out communities where we were the "dumbest" person in the room so we could push ourselves harder than we knew we could push? Wouldn't it be exhilirating to be surrounded by people who get what we are trying to do and will help us do it better, faster, and more successfully than we could have on our own? The communities, the people, the ideas that contribute to your average don't have to be physical. They can be made up of the authors you read, the podcasters you listen to, the thought leaders you follow, the online forums you join. In some ways, a total stranger in Australia has had as big and positive an impact on my business as anyone in my physical network. But the in-person communities matter too. Of course they do. There is nothing as powerful as the energy created when people with focus, discipline, and commitment come together to learn, share, and grow. Together. And it's invaluable having an actual human to meet up with or go to events with or share local contacts with. In fact, it makes all the difference in the world. And that's why I have invested so much of my time creating and curating a powerful business community, and that's why I actively seek out other strong business communities (if you're in property, by far the best I have found is Property Entrepreneur). We are lucky to live in an era with endless on-line and off-line options. But with great access comes great overwhelm. There are so many groups out there, and the only way I have found the ones that fit me and my business best is by word-of-mouth recommendations from people I trust and a bit of trial and error. So if you're looking for a community, if you're looking for successful friend-preneurs-to-be, if you're looking for people and places to inspire and lift you, ask around. Do some Googling. Attend an event. Get out there and talk to people. But above all, choose carefully. Go where the standards are high. Go where the expectations are massive. Go where you will rub elbows with people who don't make you feel desperate for a shower after you have rubbed elbows with them. It's the law of averages, after all, and you don't want your "five" bringing your average down. I was sitting in a hotel in Brighton yesterday morning after a late night. I had spoken at a business event on Thursday evening and had stayed up well past my bedtime to connect with the people in the room afterwards. It was a buzzy night, and my mind was still buzzing when I woke up two hours ahead of my alarm.
So, to treat myself for waking up so early, I decided to have the overpriced breakfast on offer in my gorgeous seaside hotel. I knew I was tried, so I had to do a double-take and then a triple-take to make sure I had seen what I thought I had seen: an elderly man in a white chiffon tunic with a wide leather belt to cinch his waist and a black bra clearly showing through his shirt. Now, I was a bit surprised, but I wasn’t disgusted (why should I be?), not like the other diners in the room who were shooting flaming daggers with their eyes at this complete stranger for his sartorial choices. (Let the man wear what he wants!) And this brief little observation – my own and seeing the responses of others – took me down a path I had trodden just the night before. Namely, how some people just don’t “get” us, and how one “box” doesn’t fit all. For most of my life I have been a bit of a yin and yang duality: I am an analytical left brain and a creative right brain. I am progressive and modern about some things, and traditional and “conservative” about others. I am alternately “feminine” and “masculine” (how many of us are exhausted playing that game of finding which traits we are “allowed” to show at work?). I love playing sports and doing chin ups and competing in Tough Mudder, and equally love doing nothing but reading and drinking coffee or eating crunchy mint M&Ms while I write (she says as she pops another M&M in her mouth). I have more than one business, more than one interest, more than one strength, more than one weakness, and more than one identity (entrepreneur, coach, speaker, friend, alumna, mother, partner… different “hats” but the same me). To put it simply, I am a multi-passionate entrepreneur (thanks Marie Forleo). And a multi-faceted person. And if I had to take a guess, I’d guess that you probably are too. But it has taken me a loooooooooong time to realize that not everyone understands that. Not everyone feels comfortable with all the boxes I tick. Not everyone “gets” how or why one person would want to do, be, and love so many different things, and work so hard to be good at all of them. But that’s why communities are so powerful. Because when we are part of the right community, surrounded by the right people, immersed in the right environment, these questions are taken for granted. The many “you’s” of who you “are” don’t need explaining. That man wearing a bra? It can’t have been easy being him growing up. It probably still isn’t. But he has taken the bold decision to be himself. And that is sometimes the hardest decision we can make: the decision to be ourselves, without explaining or qualifying or justifying why and what (as long as we aren’t hurting anybody… I’m not encouraging narcissistic sociopathy here, people!). I have curated my life – and built this community – so that as much as possible, I am only surrounded by people and ideas that uplift, challenge, and push me to live my best life and be my best self. In business, in life, in being who we are, we all need a bit more of that. Because it is hard enough without it. And to help us all get a bit more of that special sauce of finishing-each-other’s-sentences and “we totally get each other”-ness, for the next few weeks (or as long as you keep introducing me to more amazing women), I will be sharing snippets from the life and work of the women in our community in a series called Meet the Entreprenoras. Sure, part of this sharing will be good PR for the women who are featured and their businesses. But the real benefit to everyone will be from the connections made, relationships formed, friendships begun, networks shared, and heart taken from knowing we are not alone. From knowing that no matter how new or how experienced, we all “get” each other and are here to help each other thrive. So let’s keep ticking those boxes – or shunning the boxes altogether – and let’s do great things together. All white chiffon tunics welcome. |
Business Mentor
Virgin Startup |
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Entrepreneur in Residence
London Business School |
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