Rupal Y. Patel
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Back in 2014, I remember hearing a speaker talk about how, when he was first getting started with his business, he bought a load of empty binders to remind him of how many clients he wanted to have.
Every time he saw those binders, it subtly prompted him to get going (or keep going) with everything he knew he needed to do to start and grow his business. I loved the idea (and the "woo-woo" behind it) so off to Staples I went. Now, I am not naturally prone to superstition or woo-woo (and I definitely wasn't back then), but the thing with the binders made sense to both my left and right brains. It was the perfect combination of practical and philosophical. Because it wasn't as if the speaker was expecting the binders to fill themselves with new client details. And neither was I. But having something concrete and visual to represent my targets prodded, reminded, and nudged me forward each day. And as I've gotten into the habit of setting goals and targets and then diligently making them happen (I'm at a 100% completion rate after years of learning how to properly set goals and execute on them; there is an art and a science to it), I've realized that some of the "magic" behind those empty binders was that they were, well, empty. I had created a void. And nature abhors a void. And what I've realized is that whenever we want to bring anything into our lives - better health, deeper relationships, more knowledge, bigger business, anything - we have to make room for it, mentally and physically. We have to create a void so it can then be filled, ideally with something, or someone, better. Saying no to a dinner invitation creates a void we can fill with learning about something we care about. Spending less time with people who drain us creates a void we can fill by spending more time with people who fuel us. Opening up a new savings account creates a void we can fill by putting some money away each month as we've always been wanting to do. It's not technically "magic" but it can feel magical. Because when we create space in our lives for the things that are important to us, when we declutter the thoughts, relationships, and activities that no longer serve us, amazing things can come in to take their place. We just have to guard the gates and make sure we fill the void with things that are worthy of it, and that are worthy of us.
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Over the weekend, I found myself getting really irritated as my husband was reading "The Ugly Duckling" to our daughter. I've never realized it before, but that popular children's tale is based on a totally false premise. The only reason the duckling is considered "ugly" is because it is being held to the wrong standard: it's being judged as a duck when it's really a swan.
Now this might seem like a forgivable literary contrivance (and I do like the soft revenge element at the end when the creature that was once teased and taunted suddenly becomes valued and vaunted), but when we do the same thing in our lives and businesses, it's less easy to dismiss. Standards have impact (just ask the poor swan who was bullied and rejected for being un-duck-like), and sometimes, maybe often-times, we use the wrong ones. I have lost track of the number of times I've judged myself based on an irrelevant or inappropriate metric. I've gotten dismayed about my business performance in Year X by comparing it to a far more developed business enjoying the success of Year Y. I've gotten despondent about my strength and muscle tone by comparing it to that of elite athletes working full time on their fitness. I've looked at any number of things going on in my business and had to fight the urge to compare it to someone else, something else, that is just different. My swan to their duck. But as we build and grow our businesses and craft lives of our own design, we have to be diligent against irrelevant standards. We have to make sure that any comparisons are appropriate (ducks with ducks, swans with swans, and all that). And then, perhaps, we have to let it all go anyway and find ways to judge ourselves by our own standards, our own values, and our own metrics for success. Over this long COVID period, many of us have gotten used to multi-tasking. We've made endless snacks while hosting conference calls. Taken Zoom with us into our bathrooms (yeah, you know you did!). Worked on product pitches while perfecting our Disney-song pitch. Typed up emails while spending "quality" time with our loved ones.
And while multi-tasking was one of our biggest allies during COVID, I think it's important to remember that it's really an enemy wearing a very friendly smile. Now, I get it. We all wear many hats and sometimes all those hats are screaming to be put on at the same time. But if we are honest with ourselves, can we really say we got 10 things done to the same quality as if we had done each one of those things in turn? And did we really need to do those 10 things all at once anyway? For me, I know the answer is no. Because there is a massive difference between multi-tasking and making efficient use of our time. When I take an honest assessment of the times I have been a multi-tasking fool, I find it's most dangerous when I am trying to do something business-critical but allow myself to get pulled into the low value tasks just to get them out of the way. In my attempt to declutter my to-do list of the mundane, I end diluting or prolonging the important. And that's why multi-tasking is a false economy. We delude ourselves into thinking we are getting a lot done, instead of appreciating we're just doing a lot. And doing isn't the same as accomplishing. In our crazy go-go-go world, we have lost sight of the importance of true focus. In our endless impatience to get to the end, we have confused quantity with quality. On this crazy English day, when even the weather seems to be multi-tasking, all I am suggesting is that we get real about the false economy of multi-tasking and try to unitask instead. And when that multi-tasking siren starts tempting us towards distraction and ruin, let's at least try to steer her to the low value things (brushing while showering, ordering groceries while walking, making social plans while cooking...) and harness our best and our focus for our most important work instead. I have never been the type of person who enjoys exercise for its own sake. Now, don't get me wrong. I love being strong. I love pushing myself physically. And man do I love to sweat. BUT, I have always struggled with workout routines because I much prefer exercise to be incidental (like from dancing) or functional (like training for sports) or me-against-the-course (like competing in Tough Mudder), than for it to be something I just do.
Because boredom is the fastest way for me to quit something - and I don't want to quit on my health - I'm always on the look out for ways to keep exercise interesting for me. So when my personal trainer posted a challenge to do 500 skips (ie, jumping rope) every day in May, I was all in. And the sheer satisfaction I get from doing it, the mental anguish I feel until I complete it, and the thrill I get from ticking it off my list got me thinking. In so many ways, I prefer to live and work the way I eat: tapas-style. I like to have a little of a lot. I get bored easily. (And damn, do I get food envy!) And I need visual, physical, and mental variety. Everything that I have ever been consistent with in my life has scratched this itch. But it wasn't until I started jumping rope that I realized how much this is true. My career has always involved multi-functional roles. The businesses I started have me doing lots of different things each day. My schedule is anything but, and varies day by day with predictable unpredictability. If I tried to do the same thing every single day, I would go brain dead. But maybe you're different. Maybe you love consistency. Maybe you love predictability. Maybe you want to know exactly what you will be doing at 8:43pm on Thursday 13 July. And that's okay too. Because once you tune into what YOU need, and what works for YOU, it's important to hack the hell out of it and work it to your advantage in life, work, everything. For the magpie in me, this means doing 500 skips and then doing a ballet class later that day so that exercise stays interesting. It means writing for a few hours and then doing financial analysis later that day so that work stays interesting. It means having yogurt and honey, one piece of toast, coffee, a smoothie, and fruit in the morning instead of a huge bowl of cereal so that nutrition stays interesting. Doing lots of things does NOT mean multi-tasking - which is a terrible waste of time - but it does mean doing a variety of discreet things one-at-a-time to make the most of my personality. And instead of wishing I were different, trying to force myself to be someone I'm not, I'm finding new ways to leverage my tapas-style tendencies so that I stay consistent with the things I want to stay consistent with (exercise, business growth, nutrition). And the reason I'm sharing this, is because if you want to make a positive change, accomplish something important, push yourself higher - and make the change, accomplishment, or growth sustainable over the long-term - you don't have to change who you are, you have to be MORE in line with who you are. If you're a planner, make a plan before you get going. If you're intuitive, tune into your intuition before you get going. If you're a worrier, work through all your worries before you get going. Use who you are as an advantage, instead of as an excuse to stay fused in place. And if I can help you get there - wherever "there" may be - you know where to find me. I don't know about you, but the first 3 months of this year were insane. On my side, I did 8 public speaking events, 12 workshops/webinars, wrote 15 articles, hosted 16 podcast interviews, gave 3 podcast interviews, mentored 7 founders, did one-on-one coaching for 3 different people in 3 different time zones, wrote 3.75 chapters for my book, got an agent for my book (!), all while juggling another business, a toddler, and a 4 month old baby. *Deep exhale....*
So, at the end of March, I did the best thing I could do for myself and decided to take the month of April off. I didn't unplug 100% but I did the bare minimum to keep things ticking along and gave myself a break. I read all eight Bridgerton novels, saw my family in New York, took the pressure off to do, do do, and do, and am still on a slow burn until next week. BUT, I know I can't - or won't - last like this. I am a do-er, an action-taker, a creator, and a mover, so I need to do, act, create, and move. But after almost a month off, getting back into gear is SOOOOOO hard. We all face this how-do-I-get-going-again conundrum at some time or another at least once a year. Usually it happens after a career break, parental leave, summer holidays, Christmas, a sabbatical, or just a long weekend, and we find it hard to muster the energy to get going again. So what do I do to get back into execution mode? Well, I start slow. After my "April off", I am warming up my doing muscles by writing a little each day and hosting just one workshop next week. And I make plans, based on what is most important. I have sat down to map out what the first few weeks of May will look like so I get all of my submissions in to publishers and my mastermind gets up and running with a bang. I've even planned to go out for a long, leisurely breakfast cooked by someone else on the day my baby daughter starts at day care. And I ask for help. This means my VA, my husband, and a few other select people I can trust to lend a hand. Asking for help is hard because it means letting go, but I would rather let go than be resentful of all I have to do (for me, those are the only options). The things I've asked for help with are as small as asking my husband to organize play dates instead of the family "admin" always falling on me, to ordering ready meals so I don't always get stuck in the kitchen. That's it: start small (to build up the momentum again), make a plan (so I don't flail around feeling overwhelmed and stare blankly at my computer each day), and ask for help (so I don't loose steam before I have any to loose). These small things have helped me time after time, and if you're in need of a mojo injection, I know they will help you too. During my last Power Hour session, I shared some tips about living your ideal day now, in whatever small way you can. (You can re-watch the session on Making Your Boldest Ambitions a Reality here). But since then, I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I wasn't thinking big enough. That doing small things was maybe too small. That maybe, just maybe, we could all live our Ideal Day for a full day, starting now.
What I mean is this: we all tell ourselves a story about what is or isn't possible. And sometimes that story goes something like this: your "ideal day" is pie in the sky and something you'll have to wait for if you ever get it at all, and oh, till then, you'll have to suffer lots and earn your ideal, but it won't come for years and years and years. But what if we told ourselves a different story? What if we sold ourselves a different story? Because sometimes, just sometimes, the only thing separating our "ideal" from our reality is the choices we make and a lack of imagination. So, I'd like to set us all a challenge to prove to ourselves how much of our Ideal Day is possible. Already. Now. Pronto. First, write down in detail what your ideal day looks like (get all your senses involved): where do you wake up, what do you eat, what can you smell, what are you doing with your time, who are you with, how are you using your brain, how are you flexing your body, and how are you energizing your spirit. Think of as much detail as you can... ...And then - this is the key part - reserve a day in April (or sooner if you can) when you will actually live your ideal day. All. Day. Long. Now before you protest about jobs and kids and other commitments, just go with it. Choose a Saturday or a Sunday if you have to. Get a babysitter. Take a day off work if you've got the leave. And then be creative and expansive about the Art of the Possible. Make adjustments if required (some things might not be possible because of lockdown but get creative! If you can't go to a museum or the theatre in person, can you do a virtual trip or watch Hamilton on Disney+?), make plans if you have to, buy the groceries if you need to, but live as fully as you possibly can in your ideal day. ALL. DAY. LONG. Here's what I'll be doing: waking up before the sun rises, eating a warm breakfast (American-style pancakes with lots of syrup), doing a virtual ballet class, reading fiction for a few uninterrupted hours, writing for a few uninterrupted hours, going for a walk in the sunshine to pick up coffee from my favorite local, running a workshop, and spending quality time with my family in the evening while we eat takeout (I hate cooking). Nothing else. No email, no admin, no firefighting, just one precious day where I will live my ideal. (And for ultimate accountability, I'll be living my ideal day on 31 March... You can test me on it if you like because I'll be doing our 4th Power Hour session that day.) If you need any convincing, here's why I think you should do this and why we all can do this: When we live our Ideal Day, we get to try it on, see how it feels, how it fits, and experience what this amorphous "ideal" is like. And then, if it feels good, we can find ways (because our brains are creative like that) to live that ideal more often. And internalizing how good it feels will motivate us to make the ideal a reality more often too. And we can also see where we need to make tweaks, what we might want to change, what elements to leave out/put in, and what life changes might need addressing now. And if it feels different to what we expected, that is good too. Because we now have information to tell us whether our "ideal" is really the promised land we told ourselves it would be, or if there is something missing. Just go with me on this one. It may sound strange, and you may resist it, but just try. For one day, one whole precious full day, live your Ideal Day. And experience what it's like to live a life of your own making because you made it happen. Just a few years ago, I remember feeling excited and proud that I had gotten to the point in my business where I needed to hire not one, but TWO new assistants. I was over-stretched and overwhelmed at the time, and was excited to have two people to pass all my "stuff" on to. I had made it!
But ahhh, how quickly that pride turned to disappointment. Before the first month was out, one of the assistants decided she didn't want to work. And before the year was out, it was clear the other assistant wasn't moving my business forward. It was only when both of them had gone that my business started to flourish and grow towards its potential again. Not only had I cut costs, I realized that some of the work they were doing manually was better done using a software, and some of the other work they were doing was simply a waste of time or padded with "nice to haves". It wasn't sexy having zero employees again, but it was better. And that's why I am now so careful to recognize that it's not the "more" or the vanity metrics or the catchy sound-bites that tell us when we have "made it"; its the results and impact. It's not the mindless inputs, but the thoughtful outputs. It's not how little we sleep, but how much we accomplish while awake. It's not the number of hours we work, but the number of high-value things that get done in those hours. It's not working harder that is something to be proud of; it's working smarter. Sure, sometimes we should be proud when we hire someone. And sure, sometimes we should be proud of how hard we work and how much we give up to achieve our goals (life is about tradeoffs, after all). BUT, we should also watch what we are proud of and make sure that we are proud of the things that have a real, measurable, and positive impact on us and our businesses and not just the things that sound impressive or make us look - or feel - like business bad-asses. Watch what you are proud of and the other "stuff" will take care of itself. When I was starting my first business, I came across a quote that had a massive impact on me: "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." I remember at the time doing an immediate inventory, and I didn't like what I found.
I had left a highly-intellectual and analytic career with brilliant colleagues, finished two years of business school where I was surrounded by driven and focused friends, and was now working for myself, by myself. I was isolated and on my own for most of each day. And when I was around other people, the five I saw the most were my then-fiancee, my soon-to-be-mother-in-law, and some lovely but uninspiring friends who didn't work. I was the average of that?? One of the biggest downfalls of becoming an entrepreneur that not enough people talk about is this: when you are bootstrapping a business, working from home, and building your vision from scratch, you have to make an effort to find the communities that you took for granted when you were working for someone else. You have to look for people who will support, push, and challenge you. You have to seek out relationships that will help you and your business grow. But where are you supposed to find them? And how? For a long time, I had no idea. I was mildly depressed for large parts of those first few years and I felt deeply isolated. (It didn't help that I was living in the 'burbs at the time, where the only things within walking distance were a large supermarket and a movie theater... not exactly buzzy co-working spaces where I'd meet other entrepreneurs!) After almost two years (TWO YEARS!) of doing things on my own and being professionally lonely, I teamed up with two of my favorite and most successful friend-preneurs to do something as life-changing and morale-boosting as starting a WhatsApp group, and our little threesome was, and still is, exactly what I needed. But, dear Entreprenoras, as we all know, not all WhatsApp groups or business groups or entrepreneur groups are created equal. We have to choose wisely. We have to look for, or create, environments that will help us do and be more than we could do or be on our own. We have to go where the standards are high. It's that thing about averages: if we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with - and science and research has proven this to be true again and again - then wouldn't it be great to be a part of a group where we are surrounded by high-performers who are committed to excellence, learning, improving, and sharing (like this one!)? Wouldn't it be great if we sought out communities where we were the "dumbest" person in the room so we could push ourselves harder than we knew we could push? Wouldn't it be exhilarating to be surrounded by people who get what we are trying to do and will help us do it better, faster, and more successfully than we could have on our own? The communities, the people, the ideas that contribute to our average don't have to be physical. They can be made up of the authors we read, the podcasts we listen to, the thought leaders we follow, the online forums we join. But we have to choose carefully. We have to go where the standards are high. Where the expectations are massive. Where we will metaphorically rub elbows with people who don't make us feel desperate for a shower after we have metaphorically rubbed elbows with them! It's the law of averages, after all, and you don't want your "five" bringing your average down. As I've grown my two businesses, I've found myself asking for some seemingly unusual things: for assistants to use certain fonts in presentations, to send me information in bullet points instead of block text, to lay workbooks for an event at specific angles, or to use paperclips instead of staples.
And every time I give very clear direction, a small voice in the recesses of my mind chuckles a bit because what others might see as being diva-ish I see as being decisive. Whether we admit it or not, we all have standards, and expectations, and preferences for the way we want things to be done. It doesn't matter if someone else thinks it's stupid or over the top because no one else can tell us what we care about. Because the thing is, I would rather be the type of leader and partner who is clear about my expectations instead of a passive-aggressive one who pretends not to care but then fumes and burns inside. We don't go into restaurants and expect waiters to know what we want, so why do we do that with our partners, our clients, our suppliers, or our colleagues? Why not just communicate what we want, exactly how we want it, and take the guesswork out of it? Why not be specific about when certain instructions are must-haves and when others can be executed within general parameters? It doesn't mean we'll always get what we want, but at least it leaves no room for mis-interpretation. And then any results that are other than what we've asked for are failures of execution, not failures of communication. This isn't to put blame on others or take responsibility away from ourselves. Quite the opposite: when we communicate what we want and are specific about it, it puts total responsibility on us to be clear, and frees the people in our lives from the stress of not knowing. Good instructions and communication set everyone up to succeed, not fail. If you want your co-founder to do more of the tedium that has ended up on your desk, ask them to help. If you want your partner to help out at home more so you have time to build your business, ask them to help. If you want your bookkeeper to send you your P&L statements each month so you can review them, ask them to do it. If you want something but aren't sure whether it exists, ask Google if it does. Ask, ask, ask, and ask again. And be specific about what you want. The more you ask, the more you'll get and - more important - the more you'll see that being a good leader or CEO or partner or parent isn't about testing other people to read your mind, it's about giving them the tools and instructions to succeed without having to do so. When I had our second child back in October, I was reminded again of the beautiful, but chaotic, chaos that comes with those early weeks and months. Life is broken up into unpredictable blocks of time between naps and nappies, appointments and ointments, and sleep deprived delirium that results in half-completed work on your laptop and half-finished meals on your worktop.
As someone who likes tidiness and order and control, I find the early days the hardest because all of a sudden, I can’t be productive or “perfect” at anything. It is like a massive right hook to my pride followed by an uppercut to my sanity. It feels terrible. Now, of course unpredictability and over-full days are not the exclusive domain of parents. At some point, all high-performers and mega-achievers and go-getters (like you!) find themselves oversubscribed and overwhelmed. And when that happens, some of the best advice we can live by is this: to set ourselves only ONE goal for each day. Because you see, when we are stressed and overwhelmed and have more tasks than time, it can become soul-destroying to think about how little we are getting done and how much we are not accomplishing. But if we take some of the pressure off (even just temporarily), and if we focus on getting just ONE super-high-value thing done each day, that can be enough to keep us going. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. In those early post-partem days, my “one thing” would sometimes be as small as making one phone call. Or writing one important email. Or going to one gym class. Just one small thing that reminded me that I wasn’t a failure and that micro-steps forward still count. And that approach to my days made ALL the difference in the world. It gave me my sense of accomplishment back. It helped me let go of any simmering resentment I felt. It allowed me to enjoy my time with my newborn and stop stressing (mostly) about everything else. One is a small, but mighty number. And enough “1s” can sustain our momentum just long enough to make sure that we never totally lose it when big changes come our way. We can’t always get the kind of time we want. But, focusing on just ONE thing allows us to get by, push on, and make sure that major life events or major pressures on our time don’t obliterate everything that came before, or everything that comes after. That is the power of one. We are finally here. The last 10 lessons of my 40 Learned by 40 AND the end of 2020. What a year it's been for all of us. When our minds next meet, it will be 2021 so let me pause for a second and wish you a warm, serene, and settled close to the year.
We've all proven to ourselves that no matter what the world throws our way, we will survive and come our stronger and smarter, so let's bring that inner flame of confidence with us as we look ahead to everything we have planned for 2021 and beyond. Watch out world, here we come... ...And here come the last 10 lessons in my series! 31 – Release the guilt and own your decisions – There will always be conflicting pulls on our time, energy, and resources. But instead of torturing ourselves with guilt about where we use that time, energy, and resources, let’s be grown-ups about what we choose to do and own our decisions, consequences and all. 32 – Protect what you already have – It’s easier to keep what you’ve got than it is to get more. So value and take care of your time, your income, your relationships, your investments, your customers, your health, everything you already have before you go looking for more. 33 – ASK – If you don’t ask, you don’t get. The worst than can happen is you’ll get ignored or hear “no” so ask for what you want or need, and be specific. You won't always get it, but at least you tried. 34 – Don’t focus on the void – It’s important to keep our eyes to the future and the goals we want to achieve, but it’s equally important that we recognize how far we’ve already come and how much we already have. 35 – Set and enforce boundaries – You have to be your own strictest guardian otherwise the rest of the world will live your life for you. 36 – Batch, batch, batch – There is a simple power in doing like activities in batches (checking email, making phone calls, paying bills, etc) instead of frittering your time jumping from one discreet task to another task. Batching will keep you sane and make you more productive than you thought you could be. 37 – Pay yourself first – This means emotionally, physically, and financially. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Think of it as being self-full instead of selfish. 38 – Run your own race – Comparisonitis is a bastard and will keep you from making progress and doing the things that are important to you. Don’t live your life with your head on a swivel. Or as my dad would say “Live an absolute life, not a relative one.” 39 – Capture your year – There is nothing like keeping track of the lessons learned each year and crystalizing what went well, where things could have improved, and learning as much as you can from your experiences. If you don’t capture what you learn along the way, life can end up being a series of repeated mistakes and opportunities for growth lost. 40 – PERSIST and keep going – One of my favorite quotes captures this perfectly: “Never give up on a dream just because of the length of time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.” And one final bonus lesson that has been my personal mantra: Say yes to adventure! Accumulate great stories instead of great things. From performing in London 2012, to working at the CIA, to starting multiple businesses, to living on a farm in the middle-of-nowhere Costa Rica, I’ve never said no to an adventure, and I’ve never regretted it once. We only get one shot at life. Make it count. And make it fun! We are coming up to the final 20, and some of my favorite lessons are still to come! Hope you're enjoying these as much as I have enjoyed reflecting on what to include. Here we go...
21 – Decide against fear – Control what you can control and don’t let fear get in the way. It can be as simple as choosing not to be afraid and reminding yourself that so often (maybe always) F.E.A.R. is just False Expectations Appearing Real. 22 – Expand the life of your mind – Being alive and being human is about so much more than financial or professional milestones. Take time to regularly feed your brain thoughts and ideas that you’ve never come across and inspiration from other fields. You don’t have to become a polymath, but we all owe it to ourselves to be interesting and interested in the bigger world. 23 – Watch what you are proud of – Measure what matters to you and don’t worry about “vanity metrics.” 24 – Have a plan, but be flexible – The world likes to take liberties with even the most meticulously detailed plan, so have a Plan B, Plan C, and maybe even a Plan D. 25 – Be “there” now – It’s so important to have goals and aspirations and ideals that we are striving for, but the trick to being happy (most of the time) is to find the right balance between striving for what you want and contentment with what you’ve got. 26 – Use the compound effect to work for you – Even small decisions, accumulated over time can have massive impacts. For example, spending just 15 minutes a day on something adds up to almost 4 days’ worth of time over a year. Be careful with the “small stuff” and the “big stuff” will take care of itself. 27 – Track your stats – Keep track of where specifically your time, energy, and money is going. You need to have an objective measure of what you are and are not doing to see where there might be room for correction or redirection. As Plato said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." 28 – It’s ALL been done before… but not by YOU – It’s so easy to get disheartened or to succumb to comparison-it is when we are doing something new because it seems everyone has already beaten us to it. And the truth is, they have! But whether you’re writing a novel, opening up a café, or starting the next Google, only YOU can bring your you-ness and your take on things to the world. That is enough. 29 – Saturate your mind – Our brains are computers so Garbage In = Garbage Out. Saturate your mind with high-quality, high-value thoughts, ideas, conversation, and inspiration and see the difference it makes. 30 – Sometimes it’s better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission – Enough said. Last week I shared some of my top lessons from a life of four decades, and I'm back for the next 10. Hope you enjoy!
11 – Never stop learning – I know you don’t need the reminder, but when you stop learning, you stop growing. Whether about yourself, about business, or about any topic that interests you, keep learning and expanding your mind. You are your biggest asset. 12 – Commit to the process, not the outcome – Results come LAST. Get comfortable with repetition, tedium, trade-offs, and doing the right thing consistently, and the results will take care of themselves. 13 – Take some of the pressure off – Setting goals and deadlines is important, but remember goals and deadlines are also arbitrary. As long as you keep moving forward, it’s okay if things take a little longer or come out a little differently than you expected. 14 – There is time… – Everything doesn’t have to happen this year, and you don’t have to do all the things. Choose a few things you care about and commit to them. There is time for everything. 15 – …But don’t wait too long – Finding the balance between urgency and contentment is a life-long practice, so practice until you find what works for you. 16 – Put yourself “out there” – When you shine, you give others permission to do the same, so don’t hide your light under a bushel or minimize yourself to make others feel better. No one is served by you playing small. 17 – Anything is possible – You can retire by 38, do push ups while 8 months pregnant, have successful careers in widely different fields, make a lot of money and not turn into a jerk, live your dream lifestyle, and so much more… I know because I’ve done all of that, and if I can, you can. If one person can do anything then another person can. The trick is to learn how, find role models, coaches, supporters, communities where what you want to achieve is the norm. And if you can’t find a role model “out there”, then… 18 – Be your own role model – Prove to yourself what you are capable of. Be the first person to do what you do. Roger Bannister didn’t let a lack of role models stop him from becoming the first person to run a 4-minute mile, Madam CJ Walker didn’t let a lack of examples keep her from becoming the first woman (and first black woman) millionaire in America in the early 1900s. You don’t need to “see it to be it”; sometimes you have to be it so others can see it. 19 – Work smarter, not harder – Better to do 1 hour of “smart” work than 100 hours of “hard” work. Think of ways to do things faster, easier, and with less input from you instead of punishing yourself with more, more, and more. 20 – Focus on what you can control – Don’t get mired in hand-wringing, worrying, or wallowing when problems arise; take a breath, vent if you need to, then focus on what you CAN do about whatever plagues you and keep moving. Till next week. I know it isn't the "done thing" for a woman to reveal her age, but I've always found that such a silly idea. To me, age has always been a totally arbitrary marker of everything other than base chronology (we all know "old" people who are are "young" and "young" people who seem to be "dead" already).
But "milestone" ages (again arbitrary in that they tend to end in "0"s or "5"s) can also be a great trigger for change, evaluation, and reflection. That's why I thought I'd celebrate my 40th year of life on this amazing planet by summarizing some of the biggest lessons I've learned. The list isn't exhaustive, but these are some of the key ideas that have helped me breathe life into life and reminded me that anything really is possible. There are no shortcuts to success, but a life better, more thoughtfully, and more happily led are what I know you will gain from what I share. I say that with the confidence that comes from experience (I won’t say “age” just yet!). So get reading, get going, and keep growing... 1 – Mindset is everything – Get your head “right” and everything else will come. If I had to distil the wisdom of the world into one idea, it would be this. If you do nothing else for yourself, build and work on your mindset. 2 – Work on your money blocks – We all have them, and if you’ve never heard of them, I recommend you get googling. It’s amazing how things we don’t know are there can hold us back. (Australian coach Denise Duffield-Thomas, and Entreprenora Caroline Hughes do some great work around money blocks.) 3 – Be careful who you take advice from – There’s that irreverent quote about opinions and (*ahem*) a certain body part… everyone’s got them! So make sure whoever you listen to has been there, done that with regards to what they are giving you advice about. All opinions are not created equal. 4 – Trust but verify – This is true for everyone, but perhaps especially so about colleagues, co-workers, suppliers, or employees. Default to trust, but make sure they are doing what they are supposed to do. Some (maybe many) people will only do the bare minimum or what they can get away with. 5 – You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with… CHOOSE CAREFULLY! – Sit and reflect on this for a few minutes, and do a mental inventory of your five. Either they’re helping you move forward, or pulling you backwards. There is no standing still. (If I had to distil the wisdom of the world into a second key idea, it would be this.) 6 – Curate your environment – This is true about your physical, mental, social, and emotional environment. Get rid of the garbage and fill your personal space with high quality thoughts, things, people and places. We respond to, and are a product of, our surroundings far more than we may realize. 7 – Be deliberate and *selective* with yes’es – Don’t fall into the trap of yes’ing your way through life; be careful about where, how, and with whom you invest your time, energy, and resources. "Yes" and "no" are two of the most powerful words in your life arsenal. 8 – Be decisive – "Successful people are quick to make a decision and slow to change their mind; unsuccessful people are slow to make a decision and quick to change their mind." Be the successful one: decisive, but not hasty; deliberate, but not daft. Make a decision, make the best of it, tweak it, and keep moving. Ever forward, ever upward. One decision at a time. 9 – Demand a true partner – Don’t settle for a half-a$$ed commitment from anyone in your life. Share the mental, practical, financial, and administrative load equitably with the life and business partners you have. It will take some difficult conversations to get there, but don't shy away from having them. 10 – Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you – It's great to be the "dumbest" person in the room because it means we are growing and stretching ourselves... and that we are humble enough to know that we can't and don't need to be experts at everything. I'll see you next week for the next instalment of my "Top 40". Every evening as we put our daughter to sleep, in between getting her ready for bed and taking her to her room, my husband goes down to our office for a few minutes. For the longest time, this annoyed me to no end. "What's the point in leaving for five minutes?" I would say to myself. "It's just unnecessary back and forth."
And then I did the math. Those five minutes that I was so dismissive of add up. I mean really add up: five minutes every day for 365 days equates to 1825 minutes or 30.42 hours or 1.27 days. A whole extra day and then some. When I did the math, I was stunned. I mean what more could I do with an extra 1.27 days each year? How many more books could I read in 30.42 hours? How many more trips to the gym could I fit in? How many more blog posts could I write? How many more walks could I go on?... We often dismiss - and squander - small increments of time because we think they are insignificant. We ignore the power of compounding. There are so many things about which we say "Oh, it'll just take five minutes" and then we plunge in. But even if it does just take five minutes, are those five minutes being used in the best way possible? I often get clients and students resist my suggestions to delegate small things because they say it only takes them five minutes to do and it's just easier to do it themselves (sound familiar?). But using the math above, you can see how lots of little "five minutes here" and "five minutes there" can eat away DAYS of your year. So what are you spending "only five minutes" on that you could or should delegate to someone else? What could you START to spend five minutes on each day to move you closer to one of your goals? Five minutes is never just five minutes (even when it is five minutes), because that "five minutes" mentality keeps so many of us stuck doing things that we should NOT be doing, or keeps us from starting things we should. We all underestimate the power of five minutes. I still find myself doing so. But we need to pay attention to all the minutes, and - to paraphrase a famous saying - Watch the minutes so that the years can take care of themselves. As women, how often we get applauded (or loaded with more work!) for being "natural" multi-taskers. We take on more and more, even if we don't really want to, and forget how to say no because we let ourselves be persuaded that we can do everything.
And while I agree that we can do everything, I don't think we should try to do it all at the same time. We've all had one of those days (or lives) when we are doing ten things at once without the benefit of additional arms or hands (or caffeine!). But instead of being proud of how much we "accomplish" at once, I wonder if we might be better served redefining what accomplishment means. Because getting things done is of course essential to any success. But there is a difference between multi-tasking and making the best use of our time. When I take an honest assessment of the times I have been a multi-tasking fool, I find this habit is most dangerous when I am trying to do something business-critical and still let myself get pulled into other tasks to get them out of the way. In my attempt to declutter my to-do list, I end up diluting or prolonging the important. And that's why multi-tasking is a false economy. We delude ourselves into thinking we are getting a lot done, instead of realizing we're just doing a lot. And doing isn't the same as accomplishing. So the next time that multi-tasking siren starts singing us towards distraction, let's try to steer her to the low value things (walking while chewing gum, ordering groceries while on hold with the broadband company, making social plans while cooking...) and harness our best and our focus for our most important work instead. Lets's try letting go of multi-tasking and do more uni-tasking instead. "We're going to do TEN deals this year!..."
Man, did that feel good -- if a bit terrifying -- to say out loud. There I was, back in 2014, talking to a far more seasoned investor at his gorgeous offices and I was hoping he'd be impressed, give me a high-five, and slap me on the back for being such a go-getter. We were just getting started in earnest, but we wanted to go big (or go home -- as the Vegas-inclined amongst you may be thinking). My partner and I had big targets, big goals, big dreams, big everything. I wanted to do something impressive. "Wow, ten deals in one year!" I could already hear my future admirers saying. "You're amaaaaaaazing." But that's not what I got from this investor. What he said, instead, deflated me to the core... Now, I didn't feel quite that down, but it was a hard truth-bomb to swallow at the time when this kindly and unindulgent-of-my-over-enthusiasm investor told me all those years ago in that steady, knowing voice of his: "That's nice. But sometimes it's better to grow slow so you can grow fast." Grow slow, to grow fast... Grow slow to grow fast?... Grow slow to... No, no, no. And NO! What was this guy talking about? Was he crazy? Did he listen to our plan? Did he realize how committed we were? Did he know who he was talking to? Who the hell did he think he was, telling us to grow slow? I'd show him! [Spoiler alert: I didn't.] Because guess how many deals we ended up doing in 2014? A grand total of 1.5 (which kept us plenty busy, by the way). And it was only with hindsight at the end of that year that I appreciated the wisdom of his words (he's a fellow Patel, so maybe that's where he gets his smarts from!). And I find myself coming back to those words again and again and again because you can never hear -- or read -- good advice enough: grow slow, to grow fast. I get it. I've clearly been there too. When we have an idea or are just getting started on something, it's sexy and exciting to make bold statements (make the world's information searchable, make Mars habitable, eliminate polio...). It inspires us to shoot beyond the stars. It attracts people to our vision. It may even get us written about in newspapers and magazines. But what bold statements don't do is come true on their own. And so many beginners can get so desperate to rush to the top that they forget about the grunt work required to create the foundation at the bottom. They sacrifice long-term growth for short-term success. They build wings of wax to fly to the sun. But the bottom is where it all begins. The foundation is literally and figuratively what the business is built on, so should be the one thing we don't try to rush, don't try to skip over, and don't try to do too quickly. Or as my dad always says: "Don't try to build an inverse pyramid." It's not easy. Many of us (or at least some of us) want to be able to brag -- even if just to ourselves -- about how much we have accomplished in a small period of time. Many of us (or at least some of us) want to impress our peers with how much we have achieved so soon after getting started. Many of us (or at least some of us) want to stretch ourselves far out of our comfort zones to build our businesses. But many of us (or at least some of us) can also become so desperate to get there that we become hasty. And the difference between speed and haste is all the difference in the world. Can you do ten deals in one year? Of course. And I know many investors who did twice that number in less time. But you know what else? Many of those same investors then spent the next FEW YEARS cleaning up the mess, offloading bad investments, going bankrupt, or trying to keep life-threatening, stress-induced illnesses at bay. That could have been us. But instead, 2014 was a slow and foundational year. And the solid foundation we laid that year then allowed us to scale and grow much faster over the next four years. THAT's what growing slow to grow fast means. Forgetting about our pride, the imaginary headlines, the smug dinner party conversations we could have been having, and just getting used to the tedium and time it takes to build a solid business. And who really cares if takes 5 months, 5 years, or 5 decades for us to get to where we want to go? As long as we are making progress, the timescale shouldn't matter. We have to remember that our deadlines and targets are so often arbitrary. And we have to remember to be extra vigilant so that we don't get to the top arbitrarily, too. The thing we have to remember most of all is that standing on top of an inverse pyramid is not really a success. Not really a success at all. I don't know about you, but there are days when I really struggle. It'll be approaching 4-o'clock and I'll be wondering where the time has gone and what I have to show for close to a day's work (and then panic at the thought that I only have a few hours left to "catch up" before my daughter gets back from nursery).
There are times when I feel so swamped and buried in the "stuff" that I am terrified that I'm not actually moving my business forward in any meaningful way, and wonder if I am doing enough. And it's during these moments of (mini) crises that I go back to my data. See, a while ago (5 years to be exact), I got sick of wondering and wanted to know. I remembered a fantastic New York Times article (I highly, highly recommend reading it) that talked about the data-driven life. So I started to track my stats. I set myself daily, weekly, and quarterly targets and then tracked how I was using my time against those targets (in the early days, I used Excel, now I use Toggl and can't recommend it enough). And doing so changed everything. It gave me a concrete and objective picture of where my time was actually being invested. I could look back at a day, a week, a year, and see exact percentages and numbers of minutes being invested in business development, marketing, speaking, admin, etc. And I could use those stats to hold myself accountable against the targets I had set. Simple and powerful. And most importantly: objective. Because, the thing is, we are often the worst at assessing ourselves. And we often get it wrong when we are guesstimating or appraising off the top of our heads. We suffer from recency bias. And availability bias. And self-preservation bias. We judge our performance based on what has just happened, what we can recall (and we forget a LOT), and we tell ourselves stories to make ourselves feel better ("I have been working soooooo hard and soooooo much!"). But the reality is often different to what we imagine. When I started objectively measuring what I was doing each day, what I learned surprised me. It still does. In some instances, I was way ahead of my game (earlier this year I was having a really bad week so wanted to see where I was going off track... and you know what? I wasn't off track at all. I had hit 50% of my targets for the YEAR by May!) And in other cases, I was doing far less than I thought (when I was starting my first business, I was making shockingly fewer calls to partners and clients than I thought I was. No wonder things weren't moving as quickly as I wanted). The data changes everything: practically, emotionally, and energetically. When we are ahead, wouldn't it be great to know that? We can breathe a little easier, we can stop stressing (a bit) about how much always needs to be done, and we can maybe even celebrate our successes or pat ourselves on the back (crazy, I know!). And when we are behind, isn't the data morale boosting in a counterintuitive way too? If we aren't seeing progress, isn't it better to use the data to tell us whether that's because we're not investing enough time on the important things or if it's because we're spending too much time on "low value" things? Isn't it better to know if the flaw is with the process or with the execution? The data gives you answers. The data helps uncover solutions. And the data makes it easier to know, instead of guess. Business and success and growth don't happen by guesswork. And that's the beauty of the data-driven life: you swap the confusion of wondering with the power of knowing. And knowing is half the battle.* (*Any of you GI Joe fans will have caught the reference... who knew an 80s cartoon could be so profound?) I am slightly travel-weary and sleep-deprived at the moment having been in New York, Sheffield, and Birmingham this past week and eaten far more bad food on trains and planes than I care to think about.
But one of the biggest benefits of all this travel has been the time I have had to read books that have been collecting the electronic equivalent of dust on my Kindle. And the gem I am 6% through at the moment is called The Millionaire Next Door. Now, already there are some fantastic takeaways (I won't share too much because it is definitely worth reading... and I am only 6% into it), but the fact that comes up again and again and again in this exhaustively researched book is that the people with NET wealth over a million are almost never who we think they are. One of the main misconceptions about wealth is that you can tell who is wealthy: the rich look rich and act rich and live where you think they would live (Kensington, Bel Air, Central Park West). But the reality couldn't be further from that perception. It seems the great bulk of America's millionaires (the book is only about the US) live, well, next door, in middle-class or sometimes working-class neighborhoods. They drive Fords, wear Timex or Seiko watches (I love Seikos!), and have a net wealth that they could live off of for more than 10 years without doing anything. They prioritize financial freedom over conspicuous consumption and live well below their means. And you know what else? The people we think are wealthy because of what they wear or drive or earn are often as likely to be living paycheck to paycheck as their lower-earning counterparts. A big income means nothing for wealth if you spend what you earn, as so many people do. So why am I sharing this? Well, one of the reasons is that wealth is something that so many of us strive for. Some of us may even have started our businesses to become wealthy and financially independent and have big plans for when we finally "make it." But sometimes it's easy to forget that we can build wealth now, from where we already are, if we are willing to do what the unseen majority of millionaires do: spend less than we earn, not increase our liabilities even when our assets increase, and have a wealth building plan that isn't over-reliant on any one asset class. We can do all of this whether we are in the bootstrapping phase of our business or are already 9-figure unicorns-in-the making. Another reason is because I see and mentor so many entrepreneurs who don't have a financial "runway", or have a plan for getting one, before they get started. All entrepreneurs need a "war chest" to cover their expenses until their business becomes profitable, but not enough think about the sacrifices that are needed to make that happen. They keep spending like they used to (eating out, holidaying with friends, living as if nothing has changed) and run out of money before their business can support them, and then have to scramble for a Plan B or go back to working for someone else. Many of the entrepreneurs I know who have given up gave up because they ran out of runway, not necessarily because they had a bad idea. And finally, I want to burst any bubbles (mine as much as anyone else's) about what we think needs to happen before we can be financially free. One of the reasons I founded Entreprenora is because I want to help more women become financially independent and normalize wealth for women. But the bad habits we have when we are "poor" or "dependent" will follow us when we become wealthy and independent, so we need to start now, wherever we are, and start doing what millionaires do. For me, over the years that has meant saying no to a LOT of social engagements or outings, prioritizing quality over quantity in everything I buy, and tuning out the pressure to live an Instagram-able life of conspicuous consumption (it helps that I largely shun social media). Have I become a miser who lives off Wheatabix, dresses in rags, and doesn't have any friends? Nope (or at least I don't think so!). I just make smarter choices as often as I can and have learned to invest more than I spend. And the final, more uplifting, reason the book has already captivated me is that if real millionaires don't look or act or live where we expect them to, then I don't have to either. We can all become millionaires from where we are, living in the same house, wearing the same mix of fast fashion and high fashion (or no fashion!), and cruising in our 2002 Honda Accord. As Denise Duffield-Thomas says, you are what a wealthy woman looks like. You don't have to change. But your habits do. For so many of us, no matter the industry, the best part of what we do is often the act of getting started. It's exciting, it's new, and it's as-yet-unsullied by reality and obstacles. We know generally where we want to end up, and that generality keeps us excited and hopeful.
But the devil is always skulking, lurking in the details, waiting to pounce on the excited and hopeful, and that's why it is so important to finish everything in some detail before we even start thinking about starting. Because the options available to us are often endless, and the decision-making requirements only get more exhausting. Finishing before we start makes the best use of our time, energy, and funds because it eliminates much of the guesswork and stress involved in a project before things get guess-ed up and stressed-up. It means our costs are (mostly) predictable, our finish is (mostly) predictable, and our satisfaction with the end result is (mostly) predictable. Marketing campaigns? Decide which message goes to which target group, agree the copy, the format, the delivery medium, the style and fonts used, and which graphics to include before you start sending. New product launches? Finalize every detail about the product itself, how and when it will be delivered to the customer, the packaging, the delivery vehicle, the price, promotional discounts, A/B testing plan, success metrics, and sales targets before you start production. Hiring decisions? Write the job description, think carefully about the scope of the role, decide the pay/salary structure, the profile of the ideal candidate, and create the onboarding process before you start looking. (Chefs do this too... my cousin recently revolutionized my approach to cooking by introducing me to a concept called mise en place which loosely means everything in its place, and which I have taken to mean that you chop all the vegetables, measure out all the ingredients, and get out all the utensils you'll need before you start cooking... Gousto and Hello Fresh have built successful companies by helping normal people finish before they start in almost exactly this way.) Finishing before you start is a powerful tool that so often gets neglected in the excitement to jump right in and get moving. But taking a bit of time to frontload the preparation can reap big dividends in time saved, stress reduced, costs managed, and results achieved. So, what will you now commit to doing differently in your business? What will you take time to set up before you set off? What will you get done before you get going? What will you finish before you start? I'd love to hear your success stories. I was standing in front of my closet the other day looking for something to wear for my exciting day trip to Stoke-on-Trent (yes, even Stoke is exciting for an expat. And as I found out in my pre-trip googling, it's one of the epicenters of British fine china; Wedgewood was founded and headquartered there. Who knew!) and out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of a hideously ugly dress that made me smile and then laugh hysterically.
The dress in question is extra-wide A-line with poofy white sleeves, faces of strangers covering the front and back, and has two large slits near the neck for a harness. Oh, and it's made of made of neoprene. Now before you question my sanity -- or lifestyle choices -- for owning a dress that comes with a harness, let me hasten to explain that it was the dress I wore for the Opening Ceremony of the London 2012 Olympics. The ugliness of that dress makes it all the more endearing, because from so much ugly came so much beauty: I became friends with three amazing creatives who were fellow volunteers, and am still close friends with them now (if you come to the Entreprenora event on 27 June you'll get to meet at least one of them in person, though we won't be wearing those dresses unless you ask, err... beg, really nicely!). And I got to be a part of a once-in-a-lifetime event in an up-close-and-personal way. I mean when else was I going to be in a world-class sports stadium rubbing elbows with world-class athletes? Being a volunteer for the London 2012 opening and closing ceremonies was one of the best adventures of my life. And I spent that summer eating horrible boxed lunches (cheese sandwiches, Pringles, and Nature Valley bars EVERY DAY for two months) instead of doing the "smart" thing for my career, which would have been to get an internship with a top-tier consulting firm (I was an MBA student at the time). But I didn't choose "smart" that summer, I consciously chose adventure. Because one of the guiding principles I try to live my life by is to always say yes to adventure. Girls, life gets shorter each day, and as high-achievers with big ambitions, we can get so consumed with achieving and doing and growing and learning and accolade-collecting that sometimes we forget about fun. Sometimes we forget that we need work AND play (even when work already feels like play). And sometimes we forget that adventure can come around every day if we are open to seeing it. I'm not advocating hedonism or the mindless pursuit of new-ness or throwing responsibility to the wind. What I am encouraging is that we at least consider saying yes the next time adventure comes by our door. It might come in the guise of a new business venture. Or a book idea. Or a trip to Nashville. Or a walk around that museum we pass everyday. Or confessing to someone how we truly feel about them (good or bad!). Or having a conversation with a total stranger who strikes us as interesting. Going on an adventure isn't about bungee jumping and sky diving; it's about finding the thrilling aspects of the things we encounter every day and letting ourselves be thrilled by them. It's about (at least sometimes) choosing joy over ROI. About saying yes sometimes when we might otherwise have said no. And for me, it's also about living the type of life that will make my (as-yet-imaginary) biography something worth reading not just for what it will teach but for the physical, emotional, and mental ride it will take the readers on. The sun is getting higher and that means I'm on borrowed time before our daughter wakes up, so I'll leave with you with something to consider: As you get fully into this weekend, and next week, and next month, and next year, what adventure will you say yes to? What adventure will you allow into your life that will stretch you, grow you, nurture you, or simply make you smile (then laugh!) when you look in your closet of life? I'd love to hear all about it... "We just hired two virtual assistants!"
Gosh, that was a good day. This was a few years ago and our business had just gone from a team of three to a team of five. After a few referrals and a few interviews, contracts were signed, job descriptions were loosely agreed, and we were ready to rocket. It was particularly exciting for me at the time because I was feeling over-stretched and was excited to dump all of the tedious admin tasks on my plate onto someone else's plate (or TWO someone else's plates in this case). It was a proud moment. Ahhh, and how quickly that pride turned to disappointment. Before the month was out, one of the virtual assistants changed her mind and decided she didn't want to be a VA after all. Before the year was out, we realized having the other VA just wasn't moving our business forward. And you know what? It was only when we went back to being a team of two (my partner/husband and I) that our business really flourished to its full potential. Not only had we cut costs, we realized some of the work that had been done manually was better done using a software. And some of what was being done on our behalf was simply a waste of time. Our business got better, more profitable, and easier to manage by going back to just us. It wasn't sexy having zero employees, but it was better. And we weren't the only ones. So many of the entrepreneurs I know were better off once they let go of some of their initially-proud "achievements." Some poured tens of thousands of pounds into building custom software, only to realize the software was too expensive to maintain and off-the-shelf products served them better. Some spent hours finding new team members, only to find those hires were toxic and holding the business back. And some diverted time, money, and energy to new product launches that fell flat because their customers were happy with what they already offered. The fancy software, new employees, or additional products they were once proud of became weights around their necks that needed to be closed down or fired so their businesses could perform better. And that's why I am now so careful to recognize, and encourage my coachees to recognize, that it's not the thing or the "more" or the catchy sound-bites that we should boast about, it's the results and the impact. It's not how little we sleep; it's how much we accomplish while awake. It's not the number of hours we work; it's the number of high-value things that get done in those hours. It's not working harder that is something to be proud of; it's working smarter. Sure, sometimes we should be proud when we hire someone (or build a software or launch a new product). And sure, sometimes we should be proud of how hard we work and how much we gave up to achieve our goals (you can't have something for nothing, after all). BUT, all I'm saying is that we should also watch what we are proud of to make sure that we are proud of the things that have a real, measurable, and positive impact on us and our businesses and not just the things that sound impressive or make us look like business bad-asses. It's not the inputs that matter, but the outputs. It's not the "stuff" but the results. So watch what you are proud of, and make sure it is really, truly something to be proud of. "Well, of course I expect things to be done affordably, quickly, AND perfectly... Duh!"
If we were playing a game called "Spot the Rookie", the phrase above would be a dead giveaway. I know that phrase well because I was once that naive. I was the one who expected the world but didn't want to pay for it. The one who was a maximalist with a minimalist budget. The one who lived in a dream where limited resources still got you limitless results. And you know what else? I was always the one who was disappointed when things took time (oh, SO much time...) or when the cost was greater than I was ready to pay or when the quality was below what I wanted. I wasn't being unreasonable, I thought, I just wanted it all. How silly! I can almost hear you saying to your screen. Any three-year-old understands that you can't have all the things. But it wasn't until I was introduced to the Trinity that I found that out for myself. Now anyone who has had some experience with Project Management will recognize the Trinity. It is that secular force of nature, that powerful triumverite, that all-knowing three-some called Time, Cost, and Quality. And the law of the Trinity dictates that we can only ever optimise or maximise two out of the three on any given task, project, or business. Want your bookkeeper to provide low-cost services and superior quality, then expect a longer turnaround time. Want to have your next product be developed flawlessly and quickly, then expect to pay a premium for it. Want to spend pennies on your marketing campaign and get it done quickly, then expect the quality to be less-than-stellar. Now, I know some of you might still be thinking the way I did. Some of you might think it defeatist to accept the reality of how the Trinity works. Some of you might even think you're the exception and you are going to prove me and the Trinity wrong. But accepting the Trinity is far from accepting defeat. It is graduating out of our three-year-old mindset that lives in a fantasy world and becoming business adults who live in the real world. Some things are just true. Some things aren't worth debating (water is necessary for life, gravity exists, the tax man cometh...) and trying to pretend those things ARE debatable is a foolish waste of time. The law of the Trinity is just another one of those truths. Humans haven't tried to find a way to live without water; we have harnessed it and consume it regularly. The Wright Brothers didn't ignore gravity when they designed their planes; they worked with it to make flight possible. Good accountants don't ignore the existence of tax regulations; they strategize about how best to benefit their clients within those parameters. The law of the Trinity is just another thing we have to accept and work with. When I started accepting the Trinity, it made a huge difference. I made a conscious choice that Quality and Cost would always be the two I optimised and accepted that Time would be the aspect I had to be flexible on as a result. This not only reduced my stress levels (no more screaming down the phone demanding things be done yesterday!) it also made my flow projections realistic instead of hopeful (businesses don't operate well on hope). So let the Trinity be your reality check on how you plan and execute your business. Work with the Trinity, not against it. Say goodbye to unrealistic expectations that don't serve you or your business. Accept the Trinity and use it to your advantage. Amen to that. I'm spending HOW much on utilities?! And what the hell is THAT expense for?..."
That was me, screaming at my P&L statement a few years ago. I had finally hired a bookkeeper and was (geekily) excited to start interrogating the numbers that underpinned my business. I have always loved math and numbers and order and neatness, and squealed with delight when I got the first P&L statement in my inbox.... until I was slapped in the face by reality. It seemed that some costs were far greater than I had realized and far greater than I wanted them to be. From utilities to small admin fees for various products and subscriptions, my tight little ship suddenly seemed to have dozens of little holes of various sizes that were all pouring out sweet, sweet cash. It wasn't exactly the Titanic, but my stomach definitely sank when I saw how much cash was going in the wrong direction... Now as business owners and founders, we all know that it takes money to make money. There's no escaping that. But there is a difference between spending money (throwing it away or at something new for new-ness's sake) and investing it (improving or protecting what you already have). The trouble is far too many founders do the former instead of the latter. When was the last time you sat down with your P&Ls and looked at where your money was being spent or invested? When was the last time you looked carefully at all of the big and small costs and worked hard to eliminate the unnecessary or negotiate the price of the essential? When was the last time you reviewed your prices? Or chased up missed payments? Or went to the bank to cash that check sitting on your desk? Or simply decided NOT to throw money at a problem and think about a better solution instead? I get it. There is so much to do and there are so many pulls on our time and attention and energy, but if we're not careful, we can start to take our business for granted and neglect the important things. As in all relationships, our relationship with our business and our money and our customers needs to be nurtured and attended to ALL THE TIME or it will suffer. Protecting what we already have means closing the door on Neglect's smug little face. Neglect wants you to think it's okay not to review your financial statements because that's what your accountant or bookkeeper is paid to do. Neglect wants you to think new customers are sexy and seductive unlike your boring old customers at home. Neglect whispers oh so sweetly in your ear about expansion and growth and new-ness that your body tingles at the thought... But what Neglect fails to confide while slowly courting your business brain is how potentially deflating and expensive and fruitless all of his advice could be! (Who put Neglect on your Board of Advisors anyway?) When I sat down and regularly started reviewing my costs and P&Ls, my profit almost literally exploded. Because I am committed to keeping existing clients and Members happy, they are great brand ambassadors. And because I treat my suppliers and partners like equals, I get priority service in return. All of these things took time and effort, sure, but it is time and effort invested, not spent, in protecting what I have. I front-loaded the hard work of building a business, getting customers, establishing great service, finding reliable suppliers, and building relationships and consistently told Neglect to hit the road. So the next time you find yourself itching to run a new marketing campaign to get more customers, or reaching for the phone to buy a new asset because the old one just won't do, or strategizing how to do more, more, more in your business, stop yourself and consider whether you could do more with what you already have instead (make more profit from the income you already have, offer more to the customers you already have...) and whether your business wouldn't be better off if you did. Less sometimes really is more. Protecting what you already have is often the best and smartest thing to do. As the Patel-family version of the classic saying goes: "A penny saved is two pennies earned." So think carefully about all of the ways you can save and protect your pennies and all of the other hard and soft assets you already have. “Sorry, I can’t do tomorrow. I'm having my AGM.”
When I was starting my first business, any time I would say something like that to a friend or family member, I’d get a raised eyebrow. “Really?” they’d ask incredulously. I could see them wondering if I was trying to make my business sound more important than it was. “Really,” I’d respond matter-of-factly. “I do one every year.” Now it doesn’t matter if you call it an AGM, or a Board Meeting, or a Strategy Day, or a Brainstorming Session, the point here is that there can be no substitute for setting aside at least a few days each year to plan, think about, and course-correct your business. Especially in the beginning. The foundations you put in place now will be what you carry with you – or waste time fixing! – forever. From the very beginning I have done an AGM in January where I review the previous year, note key lessons learned, consider how to avoid repeating any mistakes, and plot my targets and strategy for the year ahead. Then, every quarter, I do a Quarterly Review where I review the previous three months, measure progress against my targets, and make any course corrections needed to get back on track. I also take time to reflect on why things are, or are not, going as planned and analyse whether it’s my targets or my tactics that need adjusting. I book my AGM and quarterly reviews into the calendar in advance, allocate a FULL day to each, and commit to being distraction-free (that means NO email or phone checking until scheduled breaks). I also leave my office so I don’t get sucked into anything literally or figuratively lying on my desks. I choose nice venues with decent food and drink options so I have no excuse to break the flow of the session. I make an agenda, take notes, and that’s it. Just like in any other business. None of this is complicated, but as happens so often, essential things like review meetings are really easy to do and really easy not to do… especially when you’re your own boss. But the truth is, if you really want to be “bossing it” then you have to do some boss-like things and call a meeting! (And no excuses if you’re a one-wo/man band. You should still allocate a few days a year to high-level business planning, target-setting, lesson-learning, and year-reviewing on your own.) It's important to treat your business as a business from the beginning. So put these meetings into your annual calendar (and then actually holding the meetings!), and you will be amazed at how much more focus and growth you and your business experience. You just have to start, so why not start now? |
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