Rupal Y. Patel
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Ahhhhhh... I love this slow period between Christmas and new year. It's quiet, it's relaxed, and it seems perfectly designed for lazy days at home after all the frantic activity of the year that's passed.
Whenever I go into seasonal hibernation-mode, I binge-watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine (or whatever TV series I am usually the last to awaken to!) and binge-read for fun (I'm currently going through a delightfully dark Finnish writer's books). Whatever your down time looks like, I hope it rejuvenates you and reminds you that it's okay to do things just for you from time to time, just because you can. And that sometimes, the world and our businesses can wait - or need to wait - while we recharge. I would love to be a part of your emotional and physical "top up" time, so I thought I'd share some of my most popular articles. These are the articles that you commented on, shared, liked, and talked about the most. For newer members of our community, I hope you enjoy these for the first time, and for all of you who have been here with me from the beginning, I hope you get a new insight, takeaway, or ah-ha moment the second time around (I know I do!)... >>Trolls, Haters, and Anonymous Negativity>> >>Run Your Own Race>> >>The Data-Driven Life>> >>The Millionaire Next Door>> >>The Life of the Mind>> >>Not Balance, but Harmony>> >>Sur-thrive-al Skills>> >>Fire Your Clients>> Happy reading, happy holidays, and happy (almost!) new year!
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Here are my final two Lessons Learned in 2021. Thank you to everyone who has been sharing their lessons with me these past few weeks, and here's to all of us never viewing another year (or day or week or month) as a "waste"... it's only wasted if you let it be.
Lesson 7: Good health makes all the difference - Now I have a confession to make. Whenever life gets busy or stressful, my fitness is the first thing I drop. I stop working out, I start eating Hula Hoops, and I wake up later than I want to. And for the past two years - full of COVID upheaval and having a new baby - my life has been very busy and very stressful. So my fitness slipped. And every day I would feel it in my body. Every day I would feel slightly “gross”. Every day I would feel this untapped well of energy desperate to burst forth through some form of physical exertion, and every day, it would wither and die for waiting. It was getting out of hand. And I know that how I feel IN my body (not ABOUT my body) has a huge impact on my performance. So at some point in the summer, I gave myself a kick up the a$$ and made a plan to get back to myself. I started doing the Couch to 5k program. I signed up for online ballet and yoga classes. And I made a schedule of workout times that I protected from work or other tasks. And a few days into my new routine things started to fall back into place. I was eating better. I was sleeping better. I felt better. And I was performing better. (I was also being nicer to the people I love.) You guys, it’s a cliche and often-said for a reason: health is wealth. And when we are on top of our health, it has trickle down effects on EVERY aspect of our lives. So whatever you do in 2022 and beyond, find a way to invest in your health. Whatever that means to you. And see the positive difference it makes. Lesson 8: Say yes to (some) opportunities that come your way - Now this lesson comes with a caveat. I am the first to remind anyone who will listen that “no” is one of the most important words we can master. BUT, what you say no to is less of a science and more of an art. And sometimes we have to keep our eyes open for opportunities that would be easy to say “no” to - because we don’t view them for what they are - but that we should say “yes” to. Earlier this year, I joined an author’s forum. I had bought a ticket for an event where literary agents go to find new talent, but then a friend of a friend kindly offered me her place at the same event two months sooner. It meant that I would have to get my submission materials together that much faster, but also that I would get to meet agents that much sooner. So I said yes. And that was the event where I met my now-agent who got me my now-book deal. It would have been easy to say “no” to that friend of a friend. I could have told myself that I needed more time to put my materials together. That I was too busy. That my newborn was too new for me to make time. And a whole litany of other excuses. But I didn’t. I said yes. And then I found a way to make things happen. And that’s how it is for so much of life. When we say yes to something, we find a way to make it happen. We have to. So we do. And that’s why we need to keep an eye out for the opportunities that may not look like obvious opportunities. And we have to be willing to take a chance even if we don’t realize it’s a chance worth taking. This is a tricky one to give a concrete lesson about. As I said, seeing and taking opportunities is more art than science. But if you start practicing, you’ll get better. And you’ll see which chances are worth taking and which are worth passing on. Remember, some opportunities may never come back to you. So be careful and selective. And be ready for magic to happen. I would love to hear from even more of you about your Lessons Learned in 2021, so please do get in touch! With Christmas just around the corner, here's to a great end to 2021 and bring on 2022! We're half way through my 2021 list of Lessons Learned, so sit back and enjoy this week's duo!
Lesson 5: Keep perspective - I have a foreign policy background. Before I started my first business, I worked for six years on our reconstruction and democratization efforts in Afghanistan. After I left that career behind, I paid less and less daily attention to what was happening, but still had an eye on developments there and around the world in general (yes, I am one of those people who reads The Economist cover to cover each week…). And seeing the heartbreaking way the country has relapsed and collapsed since the end of August this year has whiplashed some perspective back into my life. Now I get it. A lot of people everywhere have it hard. We all go through personal challenges and difficulties that consume us and feel like the equivalent of a personal disaster. But there is disaster. And then there is disaster. And any time I find myself anxious or worried or frustrated about how hard my life is, I look at a picture on my fridge that I took in Kabul of a car full of smiling kids who waved excitedly at me from their windows way back when. And I wonder what their lives must be like now. And I tell myself to stop being such a whiny “first-world” citizen and remember how damned lucky I am. Problems and all. If we have the luxury of access to email (and a luxury it is) and time to read articles like this one, then how bad could our problems really be? Perspective is powerful. And we all have a lot to be thankful for - yes even amidst all of the challenges we face - if we let ourselves remember that. Lesson 6: Less is (often) more - Now this is one that I find really hard to digest sometimes. I'm the kind of person who thinks "Why say something with just one word, when two hundred words will do?", but a lot of the time, less is very definitely more. This past year I have shrunk one of my businesses to almost half the size it was at its peak and it has been one of the best decisions I’ve made. There is less “noise”, less stress (it's that Pareto thing where 80% of the stress comes from 20% of the customers...), less hassle, AND our profits are actually higher. It’s not easy to tell our egos that we are shrinking our businesses, but it can be a necessary exercise to save our businesses. So be honest about what you are putting up with. And whether each part of your business, each client, each partner, each relationship is worth what you are investing in it. Sometimes the answer will be “yes” (horrah!), but if it’s a “no” then don’t be precious about letting it go. Sometimes one of the best things you can do is "fire" your customers or excise the extra. See you next week for my final two Lessons. Last week I shared with you the first two of my Lessons Learned in 2021. It was great to hear from some of you about how you are doing pulling together your own list, so keep it up (and please keep sharing!).
Here are this week's installment from my own list: Lesson 3: Make time for the things that fuel your soul - I find that so often when we set goals and aspirations for ourselves, we can do so by forgetting about the other “stuff”. We grind and work and burn the candle at both ends and obsess over monetizing things and hack at ourselves with productivity hack after hack. But, my dear readers, there is more to life than doing, doing, doing all the time. And it’s okay to do things for their own sake. Just because you love them. And just for the joy they fill you with. Earlier this year, when I was planning my “income and impact” goals, I consciously chose to NOT monetize everything I was doing. Sure, the money is important (especially after the smackdown COVID laid on most of our businesses!), but so are things other than money (duh!). So I gave myself permission to speak and do workshops just because I love doing them. Without an “upsell”. Without an agenda. Without any metrics or targets or KPIs to guide them. I love sharing what I learn and I love connecting with people. So I did over 24 (!) different workshops just for the fun of it and totally for free. And I loved every minute. I loved preparing, and executing, and fielding questions, and meeting people I wouldn’t have otherwise met. And I let myself enjoy what I enjoy without saddling the joy with justification. Doing what I love and helping other people was justification enough. So think about where you can add more joy into your life. Just because. It doesn’t have to become your full time job, but do make time for it. After all, how we spend our days, is how we spend our lives. Lesson 4: Learn how to be content without being complacent - If the past two years have taught me anything it is this. Sh*t happens. Sometimes really big, bad sh*t happens. But even amidst all of that horrible, stinky, mess, there are so many things to be content about. And the “secret sauce”, I think, to sustainable careers and sane lives is to find a way to be content with where we are and what we have while still maintaining the drive to strive and do more (if we want to!). It’s not easy, but this year in particular, I have started to give myself talking-tos any time I start going down a woe-is-me spiral. Sure, I have had some really tough times and really stressful times and really anxiety-filled times this year. But instead of stewing, I remind (read: force!) myself to think about all the great things going on in my life. And then I remind myself that even though I want to do better, or build more, or have a bigger impact, I have enough now, too. Content, not complacent. It’s a skill worth working on or we will drive ourselves into the ground with frustration and unhappiness. See you again next week! |
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