|
"We're going to do TEN deals this year!..."
Man, did that feel good -- if a bit terrifying -- to say out loud. There I was, back in 2014, talking to a far more seasoned investor at his gorgeous offices and I was hoping he'd be impressed, give me a high-five, and slap me on the back for being such a go-getter. We were just getting started in earnest, but we wanted to go big (or go home -- as the Vegas-inclined amongst you may be thinking). My partner and I had big targets, big goals, big dreams, big everything. I wanted to do something impressive. "Wow, ten deals in one year!" I could already hear my future admirers saying. "You're amaaaaaaazing." But that's not what I got from this investor. What he said, instead, deflated me to the core... Now, I didn't feel quite that down, but it was a hard truth-bomb to swallow at the time when this kindly and unindulgent-of-my-over-enthusiasm investor told me all those years ago in that steady, knowing voice of his: "That's nice. But sometimes it's better to grow slow so you can grow fast." Grow slow, to grow fast... Grow slow to grow fast?... Grow slow to... No, no, no. And NO! What was this guy talking about? Was he crazy? Did he listen to our plan? Did he realize how committed we were? Did he know who he was talking to? Who the hell did he think he was, telling us to grow slow? I'd show him! [Spoiler alert: I didn't.] Because guess how many deals we ended up doing in 2014? A grand total of 1.5 (which kept us plenty busy, by the way). And it was only with hindsight at the end of that year that I appreciated the wisdom of his words (he's a fellow Patel, so maybe that's where he gets his smarts from!). And I find myself coming back to those words again and again and again because you can never hear -- or read -- good advice enough: grow slow, to grow fast. I get it. I've clearly been there too. When we have an idea or are just getting started on something, it's sexy and exciting to make bold statements (make the world's information searchable, make Mars habitable, eliminate polio...). It inspires us to shoot beyond the stars. It attracts people to our vision. It may even get us written about in newspapers and magazines. But what bold statements don't do is come true on their own. And so many beginners can get so desperate to rush to the top that they forget about the grunt work required to create the foundation at the bottom. They sacrifice long-term growth for short-term success. They build wings of wax to fly to the sun. But the bottom is where it all begins. The foundation is literally and figuratively what the business is built on, so should be the one thing we don't try to rush, don't try to skip over, and don't try to do too quickly. Or as my dad always says: "Don't try to build an inverse pyramid." It's not easy. Many of us (or at least some of us) want to be able to brag -- even if just to ourselves -- about how much we have accomplished in a small period of time. Many of us (or at least some of us) want to impress our peers with how much we have achieved so soon after getting started. Many of us (or at least some of us) want to stretch ourselves far out of our comfort zones to build our businesses. But many of us (or at least some of us) can also become so desperate to get there that we become hasty. And the difference between speed and haste is all the difference in the world. Can you do ten deals in one year? Of course. And I know many investors who did twice that number in less time. But you know what else? Many of those same investors then spent the next FEW YEARS cleaning up the mess, offloading bad investments, going bankrupt, or trying to keep life-threatening, stress-induced illnesses at bay. That could have been us. But instead, 2014 was a slow and foundational year. And the solid foundation we laid that year then allowed us to scale and grow much faster over the next four years. THAT's what growing slow to grow fast means. Forgetting about our pride, the imaginary headlines, the smug dinner party conversations we could have been having, and just getting used to the tedium and time it takes to build a solid business. And who really cares if takes 5 months, 5 years, or 5 decades for us to get to where we want to go? As long as we are making progress, the timescale shouldn't matter. We have to remember that our deadlines and targets are so often arbitrary. And we have to remember to be extra vigilant so that we don't get to the top arbitrarily, too. The thing we have to remember most of all is that standing on top of an inverse pyramid is not really a success. Not really a success at all.
0 Comments
 For our very first profile in our Meet the Entreprenoras series, I am so pleased to be featuring Hannah Feldman, founder of Kidadl. Read on, be inspired, and connect with Hannah! What does Kidadl do? Solving the problem of "what can we do with the kids today?", Kidadl helps families discover and book curated events and experiences, tailored to their interests, location and budget and to get out and make the memories that childhood is all about. What do you love most about your business? The incredible journey of seeing your product vision come to life and from seeing thousands of parents use and trust what you have put out into the world, and keep coming back for more! I wish I could bottle this feeling up as it makes every bit of the hard work worthwhile. What tip, insight, or piece of advice you would like to share with the community? Focus is everything. Set your goal, outline your critical path and stick to it. The danger is in the distraction - which in the world of social media and constant connectivity is often the hardest thing to avoid. Favorite quote: "Wherever you go, there you are" by John Kabat-Zinn. For me this quote serves as a constant reminder that whatever path you pursue in life you need to start from a position of self-acceptance and inner peace. From this foundation everything is possible, and you can't run away from yourself (however hard you may try!). How can other Entreprenoras get in touch with you? Connect with me on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hannah-feldman-kidadl/ Rupal's comment: If you have children and want to find great new ways to spend time with them -- this summer and beyond -- check out and sign up for Kidadl's newsletter... Who knew baby dance parties were a thing?! I don't know about you, but there are days when I really struggle. It'll be approaching 4-o'clock and I'll be wondering where the time has gone and what I have to show for close to a day's work (and then panic at the thought that I only have a few hours left to "catch up" before my daughter gets back from nursery).
There are times when I feel so swamped and buried in the "stuff" that I am terrified that I'm not actually moving my business forward in any meaningful way, and wonder if I am doing enough. And it's during these moments of (mini) crises that I go back to my data. See, a while ago (5 years to be exact), I got sick of wondering and wanted to know. I remembered a fantastic New York Times article (I highly, highly recommend reading it) that talked about the data-driven life. So I started to track my stats. I set myself daily, weekly, and quarterly targets and then tracked how I was using my time against those targets (in the early days, I used Excel, now I use Toggl and can't recommend it enough). And doing so changed everything. It gave me a concrete and objective picture of where my time was actually being invested. I could look back at a day, a week, a year, and see exact percentages and numbers of minutes being invested in business development, marketing, speaking, admin, etc. And I could use those stats to hold myself accountable against the targets I had set. Simple and powerful. And most importantly: objective. Because, the thing is, we are often the worst at assessing ourselves. And we often get it wrong when we are guesstimating or appraising off the top of our heads. We suffer from recency bias. And availability bias. And self-preservation bias. We judge our performance based on what has just happened, what we can recall (and we forget a LOT), and we tell ourselves stories to make ourselves feel better ("I have been working soooooo hard and soooooo much!"). But the reality is often different to what we imagine. When I started objectively measuring what I was doing each day, what I learned surprised me. It still does. In some instances, I was way ahead of my game (earlier this year I was having a really bad week so wanted to see where I was going off track... and you know what? I wasn't off track at all. I had hit 50% of my targets for the YEAR by May!) And in other cases, I was doing far less than I thought (when I was starting my first business, I was making shockingly fewer calls to partners and clients than I thought I was. No wonder things weren't moving as quickly as I wanted). The data changes everything: practically, emotionally, and energetically. When we are ahead, wouldn't it be great to know that? We can breathe a little easier, we can stop stressing (a bit) about how much always needs to be done, and we can maybe even celebrate our successes or pat ourselves on the back (crazy, I know!). And when we are behind, isn't the data morale boosting in a counterintuitive way too? If we aren't seeing progress, isn't it better to use the data to tell us whether that's because we're not investing enough time on the important things or if it's because we're spending too much time on "low value" things? Isn't it better to know if the flaw is with the process or with the execution? The data gives you answers. The data helps uncover solutions. And the data makes it easier to know, instead of guess. Business and success and growth don't happen by guesswork. And that's the beauty of the data-driven life: you swap the confusion of wondering with the power of knowing. And knowing is half the battle.* (*Any of you GI Joe fans will have caught the reference... who knew an 80s cartoon could be so profound?) "Well, you know what they say? You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with..."
That was a really successful friend-preneur of mine during one of our regular chats when I was first starting my business. I immediately did an inventory, and I didn't like what I found. I had left a highly-intellectual and analytical career with brilliant colleagues, finished two years of business school where I was surrounded by driven and focused friends, and was now working for myself, by myself. I was isolated and on my own for most of each day. And when I was around other people, the five I saw the most were my fiancee, my mother-in-law, and some lovely but uninspiring friends who didn't work. I was the average of that?? My fiancee aside, it wasn't exactly a group that was going to march me towards success... One of the biggest downfalls of becoming an entrepreneur that not enough people talk about is this: when you are bootstrapping a business, working from home, and building your vision from scratch, you have to make an effort to find the communities that you took for granted when you were working for someone else. You have to look for people who will support, push, and challenge you. You have to seek out relationships that will help you and your business grow. But where are you supposed to find them? And how? For a long time, I had no idea. I was mildly depressed for large parts of those first few years and I felt deeply isolated. (It didn't help that I was living in the 'burbs at the time, where the only things within walking distance were a large supermarket and a movie theater... not exactly buzzy co-working spaces where I'd meet other entrepreneurs!) After almost two years (TWO YEARS!) of doing things on my own and being professionally lonely, I teamed up with two of my favorite and most successful friend-preneurs to do something as life-changing and morale-boosting as starting a WhatsApp group (it doesn't have to be complicated for it to work). And our little threesome was exactly what I needed -- and still is -- to keep me and my business growing and improving. The advice we share with each other has saved me hundreds of thousands of pounds, and the support we give each other has saved me almost as many hours of frustration, confusion, and feeling stuck. (We are a small but mighty group of can-do'ers!) But, my friends, not all WhatsApp groups or business groups or entrepreneur groups are created equal. We have to choose wisely. We have to look for, or create, environments that will help us do and be more than we could do or be on our own. We have to go where the standards are high. It's that thing about averages again... If we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with -- and science and research has proven this to be true again and again -- then wouldn't it be great to be a part of a group where we are surrounded by high-performers who are committed to excellence, learning, improving, and sharing? Wouldn't it be great if we sought out communities where we were the "dumbest" person in the room so we could push ourselves harder than we knew we could push? Wouldn't it be exhilirating to be surrounded by people who get what we are trying to do and will help us do it better, faster, and more successfully than we could have on our own? The communities, the people, the ideas that contribute to your average don't have to be physical. They can be made up of the authors you read, the podcasters you listen to, the thought leaders you follow, the online forums you join. In some ways, a total stranger in Australia has had as big and positive an impact on my business as anyone in my physical network. But the in-person communities matter too. Of course they do. There is nothing as powerful as the energy created when people with focus, discipline, and commitment come together to learn, share, and grow. Together. And it's invaluable having an actual human to meet up with or go to events with or share local contacts with. In fact, it makes all the difference in the world. And that's why I have invested so much of my time creating and curating a powerful business community, and that's why I actively seek out other strong business communities (if you're in property, by far the best I have found is Property Entrepreneur). We are lucky to live in an era with endless on-line and off-line options. But with great access comes great overwhelm. There are so many groups out there, and the only way I have found the ones that fit me and my business best is by word-of-mouth recommendations from people I trust and a bit of trial and error. So if you're looking for a community, if you're looking for successful friend-preneurs-to-be, if you're looking for people and places to inspire and lift you, ask around. Do some Googling. Attend an event. Get out there and talk to people. But above all, choose carefully. Go where the standards are high. Go where the expectations are massive. Go where you will rub elbows with people who don't make you feel desperate for a shower after you have rubbed elbows with them. It's the law of averages, after all, and you don't want your "five" bringing your average down. I was sitting in a hotel in Brighton yesterday morning after a late night. I had spoken at a business event on Thursday evening and had stayed up well past my bedtime to connect with the people in the room afterwards. It was a buzzy night, and my mind was still buzzing when I woke up two hours ahead of my alarm.
So, to treat myself for waking up so early, I decided to have the overpriced breakfast on offer in my gorgeous seaside hotel. I knew I was tried, so I had to do a double-take and then a triple-take to make sure I had seen what I thought I had seen: an elderly man in a white chiffon tunic with a wide leather belt to cinch his waist and a black bra clearly showing through his shirt. Now, I was a bit surprised, but I wasn’t disgusted (why should I be?), not like the other diners in the room who were shooting flaming daggers with their eyes at this complete stranger for his sartorial choices. (Let the man wear what he wants!) And this brief little observation – my own and seeing the responses of others – took me down a path I had trodden just the night before. Namely, how some people just don’t “get” us, and how one “box” doesn’t fit all. For most of my life I have been a bit of a yin and yang duality: I am an analytical left brain and a creative right brain. I am progressive and modern about some things, and traditional and “conservative” about others. I am alternately “feminine” and “masculine” (how many of us are exhausted playing that game of finding which traits we are “allowed” to show at work?). I love playing sports and doing chin ups and competing in Tough Mudder, and equally love doing nothing but reading and drinking coffee or eating crunchy mint M&Ms while I write (she says as she pops another M&M in her mouth). I have more than one business, more than one interest, more than one strength, more than one weakness, and more than one identity (entrepreneur, coach, speaker, friend, alumna, mother, partner… different “hats” but the same me). To put it simply, I am a multi-passionate entrepreneur (thanks Marie Forleo). And a multi-faceted person. And if I had to take a guess, I’d guess that you probably are too. But it has taken me a loooooooooong time to realize that not everyone understands that. Not everyone feels comfortable with all the boxes I tick. Not everyone “gets” how or why one person would want to do, be, and love so many different things, and work so hard to be good at all of them. But that’s why communities are so powerful. Because when we are part of the right community, surrounded by the right people, immersed in the right environment, these questions are taken for granted. The many “you’s” of who you “are” don’t need explaining. That man wearing a bra? It can’t have been easy being him growing up. It probably still isn’t. But he has taken the bold decision to be himself. And that is sometimes the hardest decision we can make: the decision to be ourselves, without explaining or qualifying or justifying why and what (as long as we aren’t hurting anybody… I’m not encouraging narcissistic sociopathy here, people!). I have curated my life – and built this community – so that as much as possible, I am only surrounded by people and ideas that uplift, challenge, and push me to live my best life and be my best self. In business, in life, in being who we are, we all need a bit more of that. Because it is hard enough without it. And to help us all get a bit more of that special sauce of finishing-each-other’s-sentences and “we totally get each other”-ness, for the next few weeks (or as long as you keep introducing me to more amazing women), I will be sharing snippets from the life and work of the women in our community in a series called Meet the Entreprenoras. Sure, part of this sharing will be good PR for the women who are featured and their businesses. But the real benefit to everyone will be from the connections made, relationships formed, friendships begun, networks shared, and heart taken from knowing we are not alone. From knowing that no matter how new or how experienced, we all “get” each other and are here to help each other thrive. So let’s keep ticking those boxes – or shunning the boxes altogether – and let’s do great things together. All white chiffon tunics welcome. “I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!”
That was me just a few hours ago shrieking down the phone to my husband Guy. I was literally bouncing down the street with joy because he called to say he had signed an option agreement on a development site he has been working on for five months, and I was whooping and hollering for the both of us. I am generally an effusive person, so after many an exclamation (and sideways glance from people on the street), I asked him how he felt about securing a deal that will make either a smallish six-figure profit or a very large six-figure profit (depending on what we do with it). And his verbatim response was: “No different than before.” But even if he wasn’t ring-around-the-rosie-ing with pound signs sparkling before his eyes, I was celebrating and proud. Just not for the reason you might think… No, dear readers, I wasn’t dancing like Jim Carey because Guy secured this amazing deal. If you have been with me over these past few months, you will know that I like to throw wrenches in the obvious, I watch what I am proud of, and I am impressed by nerdy things. If you really want to know why I was proud of him, it’s this: his singular focus on creating and then committing to a plan without obsessing over the “when is it gonna happen” of the outcome. He is like Churchill, Muhammad Ali, and a Zen master at work: laser sharp and hungry while remaining detached from the result. It’s an incredible thing to witness. And it’s an incredible thing to dissect. Here’s what I noticed: When others might watch TV, Guy watches live feeds of planning committee meetings. When others might scroll through social media sites, Guy studies the local development plan for each council he is exploring land in. When others might spend time researching the “hottest” restaurants in town, Guy invests time researching the “hottest” flood risk assessors around. And you know what else? When others might have complained about how hard it is to “catch a break” and how the odds are stacked against them (he got to within signing-distance on two other sites and then the sellers started courting bids from other developers; these were sites the owners hadn’t even considered selling before he approached them), Guy let me curse and scream on his behalf and then found more sites to replace them. And you know what else on top of that? When others might let everything else fall apart while they build their dream, Guy makes stuff happen while truly co-parenting our daughter and taking care of himself (the man plays squash and football four times a week... can you imagine how uplifting -- and annoying! -- it is to live with such a can-do mother-effer?!). Now, some of you might be ready to barf while reading my praise for someone I am married to. And some of you might even be thinking that A) I am making this up, or that B) Guy sounds terribly boring. But the reality is A) Nope, 100% truth bombs only, and B) That is the point: success sprouts from the boring, success grows from the tedious. And that’s why it eludes so many of us. Because how many of us would do the SAME thing day in, day out for OVER A YEAR without seeing any results and keep going anyway? How many of us would continue to put in that effort even after securing a deal? How many of us would be so committed, focused, and disciplined, that “success” becomes an afterthought instead of a daily obsession? How many of us would commit to the tedium instead of wishing for success to fall into our laps? I am as guilty as the next person. I struggle on a near-daily – sometimes hourly – basis between knowing that I just need to take consistent action on the right things, and throwing my hands up in despair because the results aren’t happening now. But we all know that’s not how it works. It’s a numbers game, you have to pay your dues, you can’t get something for nothing, be detached from the results… there are so many popular phrases that capture this sentiment. But knowing and doing are laughably disparate (just ask any nutritionist with a Big Mac in their hands). And not everyone is willing to be bored. But we can at least try. Try to commit to a process even when it's not fun. Try to forget about the end goal even when the goal seems painfully far away. Try to do what needs to be done even when we don't want to. And maybe, just maybe, if we learn to love boredom even though he isn't sexy or exciting, success will eventually take notice and invite us back to his place instead. I am slightly travel-weary and sleep-deprived at the moment having been in New York, Sheffield, and Birmingham this past week and eaten far more bad food on trains and planes than I care to think about.
But one of the biggest benefits of all this travel has been the time I have had to read books that have been collecting the electronic equivalent of dust on my Kindle. And the gem I am 6% through at the moment is called The Millionaire Next Door. Now, already there are some fantastic takeaways (I won't share too much because it is definitely worth reading... and I am only 6% into it), but the fact that comes up again and again and again in this exhaustively researched book is that the people with NET wealth over a million are almost never who we think they are. One of the main misconceptions about wealth is that you can tell who is wealthy: the rich look rich and act rich and live where you think they would live (Kensington, Bel Air, Central Park West). But the reality couldn't be further from that perception. It seems the great bulk of America's millionaires (the book is only about the US) live, well, next door, in middle-class or sometimes working-class neighborhoods. They drive Fords, wear Timex or Seiko watches (I love Seikos!), and have a net wealth that they could live off of for more than 10 years without doing anything. They prioritize financial freedom over conspicuous consumption and live well below their means. And you know what else? The people we think are wealthy because of what they wear or drive or earn are often as likely to be living paycheck to paycheck as their lower-earning counterparts. A big income means nothing for wealth if you spend what you earn, as so many people do. So why am I sharing this? Well, one of the reasons is that wealth is something that so many of us strive for. Some of us may even have started our businesses to become wealthy and financially independent and have big plans for when we finally "make it." But sometimes it's easy to forget that we can build wealth now, from where we already are, if we are willing to do what the unseen majority of millionaires do: spend less than we earn, not increase our liabilities even when our assets increase, and have a wealth building plan that isn't over-reliant on any one asset class. We can do all of this whether we are in the bootstrapping phase of our business or are already 9-figure unicorns-in-the making. Another reason is because I see and mentor so many entrepreneurs who don't have a financial "runway", or have a plan for getting one, before they get started. All entrepreneurs need a "war chest" to cover their expenses until their business becomes profitable, but not enough think about the sacrifices that are needed to make that happen. They keep spending like they used to (eating out, holidaying with friends, living as if nothing has changed) and run out of money before their business can support them, and then have to scramble for a Plan B or go back to working for someone else. Many of the entrepreneurs I know who have given up gave up because they ran out of runway, not necessarily because they had a bad idea. And finally, I want to burst any bubbles (mine as much as anyone else's) about what we think needs to happen before we can be financially free. One of the reasons I founded Entreprenora is because I want to help more women become financially independent and normalize wealth for women. But the bad habits we have when we are "poor" or "dependent" will follow us when we become wealthy and independent, so we need to start now, wherever we are, and start doing what millionaires do. For me, over the years that has meant saying no to a LOT of social engagements or outings, prioritizing quality over quantity in everything I buy, and tuning out the pressure to live an Instagram-able life of conspicuous consumption (it helps that I largely shun social media). Have I become a miser who lives off Wheatabix, dresses in rags, and doesn't have any friends? Nope (or at least I don't think so!). I just make smarter choices as often as I can and have learned to invest more than I spend. And the final, more uplifting, reason the book has already captivated me is that if real millionaires don't look or act or live where we expect them to, then I don't have to either. We can all become millionaires from where we are, living in the same house, wearing the same mix of fast fashion and high fashion (or no fashion!), and cruising in our 2002 Honda Accord. As Denise Duffield-Thomas says, you are what a wealthy woman looks like. You don't have to change. But your habits do. "Who knew Sheffield had so much going on?!"
That was me, mere minutes ago as I alighted the train and walked out into the breezy Sheffield air. I am here because I am giving a talk tonight to a large group of property investors and developers and decided that instead of going straight to my hotel as I would normally do, I'd take a few minutes and walk around the city. When else was I going to get this chance? And man am I glad I took that walk... Now, I do know where Sheffield is, and unlike most Arsenal fans, I have no aversion to wanting to get to know Sheffield just a bit better. I didn't have much time to waste, so I headed for an Antipodean coffee shop minutes from the station and walked around for a bit. And in that short walk, here's what I saw: lots of factories and warehouses now being used as shops and workshops for artists and artisans; lots of good smelling cafes; more organic food restaurants than I could count on one hand; two separate universities; hundreds of student apartments; and not one but TWO "oriental" grocery stores (their words, not mine... rugs are Oriental, people are not!). And that last observation was one that made me take the most pause. "Oriental" grocery stores? In Sheffield? And then as I continued to look around, I noticed how ethnically diverse Sheffield city center was. Many were international students, to be sure, but plenty more looked like they were born-and-bred Sheffielders. And it made me think bigger thoughts about disruption and change and globalization and the opportunities that disruption and change and globalization bring with them. Case in point: when Sheffield's steel industry took a hit, many artisans turned to goldsmithing and silversmithing (and make some jaw-dropping stuff that I would love to adorn my home with when I can justify £4200 for gorgeous silver candlesticks... I'm looking at you Brett Payne). The factories that once forged steel now forge art of various kinds and disused warehouses have been repurposed into trendy coffee shops and art spaces. The big takeaway for me is this: Sheffield hasn't given up, and neither should we, even when it seems the world is changing around us faster than we can say "What English steel industry?" Big changes happen. Cataclysms happen. Population changes happen. There are so many forces that we as business owners and investors can't predict or control, but the key is not to let what is out of our control dictate what IS in our control. The key is to do what we can to change and adapt and take notice of the opportunities around us even as the changes and cataclysms happen. There is always so much wasted opportunity going around. And while my observations of Sheffield are superficial (I've only been here two hours, after all, and my observations above are the sum total of my knowledge of the place), the bigger lesson is not. What opportunities are you not taking notice of? What inevitable changes have you not prepared for? What -- dare I say the "B-word" -- Brexit-related upheavals have you not thought of a response to? As Warren Buffet says "Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful." So whatever industry you're in, whatever location, whatever stage in growth, why join the fearful masses when you could be one of the opportunity-seers? The opportunities are there, if you take the time to notice them and make the effort to do something about them. Just ask the people of Sheffield. I received a small shock this morning when I logged into Mail Chimp and found that the article I had written and scheduled to send on Saturday was scheduled for the wrong Saturday and hence never got sent (that's what I get for working on the go!). So, this is a quick apology for being a few days late, but here I am, and more important, here is the article that should have greeted your inboxes on Saturday... Happy reading!
As you may remember from my message last weekend, I am in New York visiting my family. It has been a wonderful whirlwind so far, and there is still a big family wedding to come. Flying here with our toddler wasn't fun, but it was over after only a few tears (mostly mine), lots of internal screams (again, mostly mine), copious amounts of silent cursing (very definitely mine), and seven hours of pacing up and down the aisles. I was terrified in the run-up to our trip because I have never traveled with her alone and seven hours of peace in a confined space with bad food is a big ask of most people, much less an active tot, but in the end it wasn't that bad and we got through it together without any meltdowns, and at least one of us was still smiling happily when we landed. One of the lessons I learned again on that flight -- I seem to learn this lesson "again" a lot -- is that the fear and anxiety I felt in anticipation of the flight was a poor prediction of the reality. And it reminded me of the wise words a friend-preneur shared with me many years go: that F.E.A.R is often nothing more than False Expectations Appearing Real. This happens so much to me in life and in business, maybe to some of you, too. We wind ourselves up into Gordian knots of stress worrying about things that haven't happened and our imaginations go on a frenzy of worst-case-scenario-building, leaving not even a synapse-sized space for the possibility of a less-than-horrific outcome (never mind a successful one), and we waste precious head space and brainpower and life force anticipating disasters that never come to pass in the way we most, well, fear. I would have to rely on some high-order math if I tried to calculate the number of times I have anxiously expected disaster or sub-optimal outcomes before an event or a speech or an award nomination or even just a phone call. I know how hard it is to keep a leash on rabid fear. But with time and experience and each new experience that goes better than I thought it would, or even goes well, I have started to try training myself into anticipating things with a little less fear. I have started planning for success just a little bit more. Anticipating happier endings just a little bit more. Letting my mind roam through best-case scenarios just a little bit more. And going ahead and making stuff happen despite my fears. Most of us can survive even our worst imaginings, so why waste the time imagining them? Why waste an opportunity to do something or build something or change something when fear is often no more than a false expectation appearing real? I know it's not easy, but it is doable. So let's do this, ladies, fears and all. |
Business Mentor
Virgin Startup |
|
Entrepreneur in Residence
London Business School |
© COPYRIGHT Rupal Y Patel 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.